You Can't
by MaybeTommorrow
Summary: "No Ed you can't" Jean said as he backed away but we all know how well Ed responds to the word's 'You Can't'. JeanxEd HavocxEd lots of smut, be sated. xD and yes i did redo the summary, thanks for asking.
1. Chapter 1

Alright so I lied…it wasn't my only one…but I mean really…I don't know why it just kinda…went BAAAAARHG! And viola…here it is…

I have no idea...I think I'm becoming obsessed with this pairing...which is weird cause I've never read any...but anyway here's some smut for you. Enjoy.

You Can't

(Supply closet sex)

A moan was heard in the supply closet and a soft chuckle followed then shushing, it was a very miserable day for the whether in Central, and no one felt up to doing much so most people went to take care of menial tasks that didn't really help much. So when Jean Havoc had been pulled into the supply closet he couldn't have been happier.

"Nnnng," a blond moaned as the other sucked on his ear lobe, one hand wrapped in the hair of the sucker while the other fisted in the uniform jacket that was halfway off.

"Shhh, Ed someone might hear," Havoc laughed, but continued sucking despite the noise.

"Gee you ever thought…you could….st-aaaah!" Ed moaned as Jean's hand brushed over his still clothed member. Jean smirked then moved his mouth to Ed's neck sucking while he pushed his hand under Ed's coat and shirt to caress Ed's toned abs.

"Mnng! Fuck! Jean if you…don't _do_…something now…I'm…going to throttle you...!" Ed said between gasps and moans. Jean stood up straight and smirked.

"What do you think you can manage?" he asked and Ed still panting, glared.

"I can handle anything, just do _something_ dammit!" Ed moaned as Jean brushed his crotch again. Then the older blond chuckled he took Ed's gasping mouth in his own shoving his tongue straight in as he shed the boy of his clothes. He quickly took the boys member and started to stroke it slowly, Ed gasped and his hips bucked forward into the hand that was teasing him. Jean chuckled

"I hate you…" Ed moaned as Jean went down on his knees right in front of the boy whose back was pressed against the wall.

"Now that's not very nice, are you sure you want me to do something?" he asked and he gave the tip a small lick.

"Nnnng!" Ed said throwing his head back and thrusting his hips forward, Jean smirked then pushed the boy's hips back and pinned him harder to the wall then quickly took the member into his mouth. There was a muffled scream as Ed shoved his fist into his mouth to cover the sound of his pleasure. Jean sucked a little while longer before Ed placed his flesh hand on his head.

"Now..." Ed said quietly and Jean looked up releasing the member from his mouth, he stood up keeping his hands on the smaller blond.

"You want to do it standing?" Jean asked and Ed fumbled with the blue uniform pants.

"I don't see any tables or chairs...do you?" he said and slid the pants down the hips of the blond man.

"Point," Jean said then took Ed's mouth with his own, making their tongues dance for a moment before he broke it and brought his hand to Ed's mouth, Ed took the fingers and started sucking on them keeping his eyes on the older blond the whole time as he grabbed the younger's legs and wrapped them around his waist. Then he took his fingers back and wrapped his arm around Ed's back and pressed them to his entrance. Ed moaned in longing Jean laughed as he pressed into the entrance with a finger but Ed wasn't going to take it slow today, he moved his hips and impaled himself on the finger. He gave a moan and Jean laughed before he started working the saliva coated digits into Ed's entrance he added another and scissored his fingers, Ed arched into him and he added a third to be safe. He didn't really like hurting Ed during an act that shouldn't be hurting.

"Now!" He gasped, and Jean took his fingers out and put his own member in front of the entrance, he pushed in gently knowing that they didn't have all the proper lubrication. He pushed in a little more and he heard Ed give a frustrated cry, and he tugged on Jean's short blond hair to get him to move faster. Jean obliged and he was soon sheathed inside the boy.

"You okay?" he asked and Ed nodded while holding back moans Jean smirked before he started to move, he captured Ed's lips, thrusting his tongue into the moist orifice as he hit a spot in Ed that made the boy scream into his mouth. Ed started riding faster using his legs wrapped around the taller blond as leverage. He threw his head back as Jean kept hitting that special spot inside of him then when he couldn't take any more, he came calling out his lovers name. Jean came shortly after his shout muffled in the crevice of his younger lovers neck. They held each other as they rode out their orgasms, clinging like their lives depended on it. When they were done they untangled themselves and found their clothes. Ed easily cleaned up their mess by destroying the evidence with a little alchemy. When he and Jean were presentable, they left the room separately; both had smirks adorning their face.

They really couldn't help themselves, when it was raining and cold outside there was only one way to create body heat with someone you love.

So...I think this might blossom into a full blown story...we shall see. But anywho...Review yes?

xD


	2. Chapter 2

I really don't know, I think I'm like diseased or something….at least it's an enjoyable disease and not like…Ebola…ew….

Oh yeah I realize I forgot to do this last chapter....this contains SMUT as in malexmale CONNECTINGS! Yeah okay. Enjoy.

You Can't

(Sex away from the office)

Havoc sighed as he leaned back in his chair, chewing on an unlit cigarette, he would look at the door to the Chiefs' office every so often, occasionally there would be shouts but right now it was quiet. He was a little worried, because Ed had been in there for at least 15 minutes, usually he'd lose his temper and be out in 5, so he figured something must be wrong. Ed stomped out another five minutes later looking dejected.

"Hey boss, what's up?" he asked in a light voice but his eyes showed his concern, Ed looked at him as the others in the office looked up to hear the answer.

"Oh the same, he's being a bastard, making me go on a week long tour of Western headquarters, since he says he's too busy but he's lying, he just wants to get rid of me," Ed said grumbling. And Havoc grinned patting him on the back.

"It's okay Boss, the girls in the west are pretty cute," he grinned and Ed rolled his eyes.

"Is that all you can think about? The west is hot and sandy, worse than East, I won't have time to look at girls, I'll be too busy de-sanding myself," He replied and Havoc frowned for a moment before his grin came back.

"Then make time," he supplied and Ed sighed, then rolled his eyes.

"Yeah okay whatever, girl-a-holic, I'm going to the library…see you guys later." And Ed was gone, Havoc shared looks with the others who were surprised Ed hadn't left screaming before he went back to work.

Ed and he had just had a conversation, that was obvious, but no one knew what it was really about, Havoc had really been asking if they would have time to say goodbye, and Ed replied it wasn't likely unless they did it soon. After about 10 minutes Havoc stretched and looked at Hawkeye, she turned, feeling the eyes on her. He grinned and held up an unlit cigarette. She sighed.

"Twenty minutes Jean or I'll come and get you," she replied and he grinned at her thankfully, then he walked out of the office and headed to the roof. Once there he locked the door to the stairwell and went to the power house, he opened the door to see Ed already there looking over the power consuls. He smiled when he saw Havoc.

"Took your time," he said and walked over to him. Havoc smiled back and placed a hand on the younger blonds cheek then bent down and kissed him gently, Ed wrapped his arms around the man's neck and pulled him closer deepening the kiss. Ed opened his mouth and didn't wait for Jean to respond he plunged his tongue in without a second thought and made the older man moan. He broke away for a moment.

"We need to make this fast, I only have 20 minutes," he said a little breathlessly. And Ed scowled, cursing Hawkeye.

"Damn that woman….well I'm not leaving till tomorrow maybe I can come over later?" he said and Havoc agreed with a kiss.

"Whatever you want, but let's do something now just in case you can't convince Al," Jean mumbled against the boy's lips. Ed laughed then parted them slightly and Jean's tongue was in his mouth before anything else was said. Ed let his eyes slide closed and felt as the older blond pushed his shirt up so he could touch his chest, Ed didn't like his clothes at the moment, so he took back his arms and stripped the top half of his body. Jean showed his appreciation by taking one of Ed's nipples in his mouth and teasing it, making the boy moan and arch slightly. Ed put his own hands on Jean's uniform jacket trying to take it off with out damaging it. Jean gave a frustrated sound and tore it off letting it fall to the floor. Ed laughed then gasped as the man's tongue started trailing down his chest and stomach. He shook himself for a minute then undid his pants.

"No time…come on," He said and tugged at the older blonds' pants, Jean stood and took them off. And gestured to a table in the corner of the room, Ed got there pulling Jean along then laid on the top. Ed wrapped his legs around the man's waist and he bent to kiss him. Leading himself over Ed's entrance, he gently pushed in and stopped when Ed winced. But the boy relaxed and nodded telling him to keep going, Jean had to hand it to him, doing it dry was painful and he hadn't made a sound. He pushed in a little more and Ed made a noise that sounded like a snort before he used his legs to pull Jean closer and sheathing him in all the way.

"I'm fine," he said a little breathlessly. Jean nodded then started to thrust, after a moment Ed started to moan. Then when Jean hit the right spot he started to meet his thrusts, Jean couldn't stop his own moans from coming out of his mouth, the sight of Ed underneath him was always a turn on and then there was the whole taboo thing and the possibility they'd get caught at any moment. Neither lasted much longer from the overload of turn on's and sensations. The came together and stilled for a moment panting as their chests touched, Jean kissed Ed gently before he stood.

"Be safe in the West, I don't want anyone taking you from me," he said and Ed grinned a little but rolled his eyes.

"As if I could find someone who screws as good as you," he said and Jean laughed, then they got their clothes cleaned up and Jean was back in the office with a minute to spare.

"You know Havoc you really should quit," Mustang said, from his desk. "That could be why you can never get a date," He said with a smirk and Havoc frowned.

"I'll keep that in mind, Sir," He said and had to hide his smirk, Ed had told him that as disgusting as the act was, there was something sexy about Jean smoking. Havoc was surprised but pleased; he really did love that boy, even though his shortness was a turn off. Most of the time.

Yeah so...review please!


	3. Chapter 3

So this one has a little bit of plot, still has smut though so...you're good. So Enjoy!!

You Can't

(Miss you)

Havoc yawned and looked up in surprise from his couch when he heard the soft knock on his door. He got up with a grin and opened the door to be met with an arm full of blond.

"So I'm guessing you got away from Al," He said and Ed looked up at him with a sly grin then was pulled into the apartment so Havoc could close the door.

"I guess you could say that," He chuckled and Havoc rolled his eyes and laughed. Then bent down and pressed his lips to Ed's. Ed went up on his toes to press them together harder and more deeply. Havoc pulled away a grinned at him.

"Honestly, are you nervous or horny? I can't tell," he grinned and Ed glared at him playfully, then smirked.

"I don't know, you tell me," He said and pushed his hips at Havoc's letting him feel the slight erection in the boy's pants.

"Oh so just horny," he mumbled before he captured Ed's lips again and pushed him to the couch. The back of Ed's knees hit the armrest; he grabbed a hold of Havoc's shirt and pulled him along as he fell onto the cushions.

Havoc's lip's traveled down Ed's jaw and neck to start sucking on the vein there. Ed gave a moan and arched into the older blond Ed's hands fisted in Havoc's shirt.

"Jean," Ed moaned and Ed felt the older man shiver, his head came up his blue eyes lusted over as he looked at Ed.

"Mnn...when you say my name like that..." he murmured before taking Ed's lips again Ed moaned a little in his mouth and tugged at the man's shirt, pulling a few of the buttons apart. Ed's hand traveled down the well toned chest, earning a moan from the older blond. Jean sat up for a second to take off his shirt and toss it over the back of the couch he was about to lean back down but stopped and smirked at the blond boy under him, he smiled. Ed was panting slightly his eyes lidded and his mouth open slightly. He gave a small laugh before bending down and gently kissing the boy.

"I love you..." he murmured and Ed smiled, one of his hands coming to rest on the back of Jean's neck his thumb rubbing back and forth, he pulled him down for a chaste kiss.

"I love you too," he said quietly and slightly embarrassed, Jean caressed his face gently, and leaned down to kiss him again.

From then it got progressively more heated neither was quite sure how they managed to make it to the bedroom, but they did.

Havoc was leaning over Ed with a smirk their clothes had been discarded along the way. He trailed his lips down the boy's neck and to his chest Ed gave a breathy moan as he dragged his own hands down the man's chest and stomach. Jean trailed a hand along Ed's side who gave an involuntary shudder at the sensation. The older blond's lips traveled down the toned stomach of the smaller blond and stopping right before he reached Ed's length.

"Unnhg...." Ed groaned in need and Jean just looked up at the glaring blond and grinned. Before he took the length into his mouth, he placed his hand on Ed's hips and then gave a slight suck, Ed gave a cry and tried to buck but couldn't because of the hands on his hips. Jean hummed in laughter and Ed gave another cry in pleasure then moaning in frustration at the tantalizingly slow pace Jeans tongue and mouth were moving.

"Nnnng!" Ed whined again and Jean chuckled again getting another moan before he sped his mouth up and then started rubbing Ed's thighs, Ed's moans got louder and more insistent as Jean's mouth quickened eventually bringing the younger blond to completion.

"Why...did you...?" Ed asked slightly breathlessly after his orgasm had subsided. Jean released him form his mouth and then crawled back over Ed and kissed him rather harshly then looked down at him and smirked.

"I didn't say I was finished with you yet Ed," he said and Ed could feel himself get hard just from that tone of voice alone. Jean smirked at the reaction and leaned over Ed to grab the bottle of lube on the night stand he put a generous amount on his fingers then slowly slid a digit in, Ed hissed at the sudden cold but relaxed all the same, as Jeans' finger started to move he bent down and kissed Ed whose mouth had been open and waiting. They both moaned when their lips met, Jean's finger pulling in and out until Ed's hips gave a small buck, he put in another finger and scissored, Ed gave a throaty moan and Jean trailed his tongue down his jaw and started sucking on Ed's ear which was extremely sensitive. He put in another finger as Ed gave a cry and grabbed onto Jean his left hand gripping at his hair while his right fisted in the sheet so as not to hurt him. Jean bent his fingers and Ed gave another cry as his hips bucked, his fingers tugged at Jean's hair and the man gave a languid suck on the boy's ear, and he cried desperately for him. Jean let go of his ear and took his fingers out Ed whimpered at the loss of contact.

"Dammit…Ed. Do have any idea what you do to me?" he asked as he coated his own member in lube.

"I have…a good idea…of what…you can do…to me…" Ed panted and Jean smirked then put his member at Ed's entrance before pushing in, Ed moaned and writhed grabbing at Jean's chest. Jean sheathed himself and bent to kiss Ed fully on the mouth his own hand threading through Ed's hair. He started out slow and sensually, relishing in Ed's moans before Ed clenched and he gave a breathy moan himself and started to move faster and more erratically. It didn't take long as he thrusted and kissed Ed's mouth and jaw for them both to finally hit their release and ride it out gasping each other's names.

"I don't want you to go…" Jean said when he'd pulled out and wrapped his arms around Ed who curled into him and put his face right in Jean's neck wrapping his own arms around the older man.

"Well I don't really want to go either…but it was an order…no matter how much I argued with him…" Ed said his voice muffled but it had a hint of a growl.

"Hey now Boss, you can't go killing off the Chief, that would cause waaay too many problems. And I wouldn't be able to screw you as often," he added as somewhat of an after thought. Ed snorted.

"Wouldn't that be the only problem?" he asked sarcastically, moving his head so he could give the man a look.

"No, I'd miss _you_ too," he said and Ed's eyes widened before he blushed and hid his face in Jean's neck again. He said something but his mouth was right on Jean's flesh and it couldn't be heard.

"What was that?" jean asked and Ed's head moved a little to free his lips.

"I'd miss you too…" he said and Jean smiled and pulled him up so he could gently place his lips over Ed's and kiss him slowly and intimately.

It was easier to fall asleep in each other's arms then it was without each other, both were satisfied happy and deeply in love, but both knew that if anyone -with the exception of perhaps Al- found out about their more than friends relationship they would be royally screwed. Having a lover that had a 9 year difference in age to you wasn't really the problem, the problem was that Ed was only 16 and Jean could get court-martialed and thrown in prison. He'd wanted to wait but, Ed was pushier than most and that was probably why Jean loved him so much.

Yeah so this is going to end up being a story, and there'll probably be only a few chaps without smut~! I hope you liked it! Please review!


	4. Chapter 4

A little bit of plot here, okay a lot of plot there's no smut kiddos sorry, next time though...I promise.

Anywho, enjoy!

You Can't

(No harm in trying)

_1 and ½ years earlier…relatively._

"Next time don't blow anything up Fullmetal, I don't need another complaint of how you've destroyed another town!" Roy Mustang said his voice carrying through the door in his East Headquarters office.

"Next time give me legitimate information Bastard!" Edward Elric yelled back at him then there was stomping and the door flew open reveling a disgruntled teen and a superior officer who looked caught between amusement and exasperation.

"Hey there Boss, no luck again?" Havoc asked an unlit cigarette in between his grin. Ed scowled at him.

"No, just more useless junk people think are worth something," He huffed then wilted slightly when he looked at his armor of a brother.

"We'll get it next time though, right Al?" he asked and the armor nodded.

"Yeah," he said and Ed smiled again, and then they left Havoc heard Roy give a sigh then a groan as he saw his paperwork, he gave a chuckle before turning back to his own though he couldn't really concentrate. His thoughts were stuck on Ed.

Ed was really dedicated to getting his brother's body back and Jean couldn't help but admire and envy that dedication. Al was lucky to have such a strong and willing older brother who would give anything to save him; they'd give anything to save each other really.

Jean wished he could have a relationship with a woman that was like that. Now Jean wasn't mushy oh no, but his mother always used to watch cheesy romance movies and from all the exposure it made Jean a romantic at heart, so he'd love to have a relationship with another that was as touching as Ed and Al's were, though in a completely different sense from brotherly.

He thought of all the woman he had dated and tried to date, now that he thought back on it none of them were really what he'd been looking for, well sure Angela had been strong and kind, but she was also selfish. And Miranda had been sweet and caring but hesitant and lacking confidence in herself. He needed someone who was strong but not threateningly so; he chuckled when he thought of Armstrong and shivered a little at the thought of him as a woman. He also needed one who was smart, and he thought of Fury then snorted, but also who wasn't afraid to admit it. And then he wanted someone who was reasonably good looking, that brought on an image of his superior officer and he groaned. Not an arrogantly attractive person, just confident. And then he thought of Hawkeye, she was almost perfect, except for the fact that Jean knew she loved the Colonel, he sighed. If only the stubborn man noticed, they would make an exceptionally good couple the two of them. Now Jean just needed someone for him. He drew a blank and let his head hit his desk with a groan.

"You okay there Havoc?" Breda asked glancing at the man who was inner turmoil.

"Yeah….yeah," he said then stood, and looked at Hawkeye and pointed to the cigarette in his mouth. She nodded then looked at the clock with a fierce stare Jean nodded and understood to be back in twenty minutes.

On his way back from the roof he was going back to the office in a daze and didn't notice when the bathroom door opened and walked into the person coming out.

"Aaarhg!" said the person as he started to fall but Jean's arm snapped out and he caught the person around the waist before they fell, but in order to stop the momentum he had to yank them towards himself when he looked down he saw a somewhat crushed blond in a red coat. The door swung shut behind them.

"If I hear a comment about how hard it is to see me due to height, you're dead." He said and Havoc gave a laugh.

"Not a prob Boss, I wasn't looking where I was going," he said and Ed pulled back as Havoc's arm came from around him.

"Oh so it's your fault, okay," he said looking slightly more cheerful at the thought. But Jean noticed he looked really tired too.

"Hey Boss are you okay-" but he was cut off as the bathroom door swung open and knocked him down making him domino into Ed so they both ended up on the floor. Havoc threw out his arms so he didn't totally crush the small alchemist, but he was still on him partially. One of his legs was between Ed's while his arms where on either side of Ed's head while Ed's arms were outstretched their faces were about an inch apart.

"Ow," he said and Ed grinned hesitantly but Jean could see his cheeks were slightly red, and he got up as fast as he could, and then offered his hand to Ed who looked at it as he sat up as if considering the offer before standing on his own.

"Now that one I know was your fault," he said and Havoc couldn't help but notice his cheeks were still tinted pink.

"Hey, I was knocked down. You just happened to be in the path in which gravity had me fall," he said and Ed's lips twitched before he laughed. Havoc couldn't help but grin at hearing Ed laugh it felt good, the kid didn't laugh enough.

"Hey you feeling okay Ed? You look kind of ill," Havoc said when Ed had finished laughing Havoc placed a hand on the boy's head and his face went red. Then he backed away quickly.

"I'm fine," he said and Jean frowned as the boy scooted from him, Jean swore the boy was blushing. That was odd.

"Well you've just gotten back, go back to where you're staying and get some rest," he said and Ed nodded then made a mad dash towards the exit. Jean shook his head and headed back only to be caught half way by Riza his excuses didn't matter he was led at gun point back to the office.

Havoc sighed, the butt of his cigarette falling to the ground so he could step on it, he rubbed it into the roof of the building but jumped at the sound of a voice from behind him.

"You know that isn't good for you and I don't think the roof can take any more of it either," Havoc turned around and saw Ed walking over to him with a smirk. It had been about a week since Havoc had last seen him.

"Oh Hey Boss, what brings you up here?" he asked and Ed stopped walking a few feet away.

"I was bored and kinda wanted to talk to you," he said and Havoc shrugged then started another cigarette.

"Sure what about?" he asked and Ed moved over to the ledge then jumped up and sat on it, so his face was level with Havoc's.

"I don't know…" he said quietly, Havoc grinned. Ed was so cute when he wasn't shouting at the top of his lungs.

"Well I'll be here for a little while, it's my lunch break," he said and they sat in silence for a while, though Jean could see that Ed was fidgeting out of the corner of his eye, he must be nervous about what ever it is he was going to talk about.

"Havoc," Ed said and Jean turned his face with a raised eyebrow in question, he was completely shocked when the shorter blond had his lips pressed against his in a light kiss. Jean didn't move out of shock. Had Ed just kissed him?

"You look like a fish," Ed said his face slightly pink but he was smirking, Jean shook himself and looked at Ed in confusion.

"What was that?" he asked in a weak voice, he didn't know whether to laugh of to get angry.

"It was a kiss Jean, your luck with women _must_ be bad if you didn't know that," he said and Havoc didn't know what to do with any of that, Ed had called him Jean, admitted it was a kiss and made fun of his love-life, or lack thereof.

"Why?" he said unaware of the fact that his cigarette had long since burned out and fallen to the ground.

"Because I wanted to, I like you," he said his face going pink at the admission but he didn't blink.

Jean was completely blown away. He'd been sure Ed liked his mechanic; they made a cute angry couple. But that wasn't the problem Jean needed to stomp out the crush as soon as possible to be safe.

"Um well that's really flattering and all Ed but I don't really like you that way," he said he didn't want to be a jerk but he did need to be straight forward.

"I don't care, I still want you," Ed said stubbornly, and Jean should have known he had lost already, but you can't blame a man for trying.


	5. Chapter 5

Here's chapter 5 for anyone who's actually reading I wouldn't know, I haven't gotten many reviews *coughhintcough*

You Can't

(Safe)

_Present time_

Jean woke up when he felt the sun on his face he rolled over a little and then felt the presence on his side, he looked to see Ed sleeping, his face soft and his lips partially open as he breathed. Jean ran a hand over Ed's cheek, Ed leaned into the touch. He traced the edges of Ed's face with his fingers then ran them along his neck and chest. Then he ghosted his lips over the same areas of flesh, he felt Ed's hitch in breathing, then a hand touched his own cheek and he looked up to see Ed's sleepy eyes but his lips were smiling.

"That's a nice way of saying good morning…" he mumbled, and Jean smiled then leaned over to him and gave him a lingering kiss.

"What time is it?" Ed asked sleepily as he sat up, the sheet that had been wrapped around him fell onto his lap, Jean turned over to the clock.

"It's 8:30," he replied and Ed nodded then fell back on to the bed, then frowned for a bit and rolled over on to Jean's chest.

"What time did you tell Al?" He asked giving a small contented sigh as he slung an arm around Ed, and putting his chin on the boy's head.

"Ten," Ed yawned and snuggled closer to Jean's chest, who tightened his arm. Then Ed sat up and looked down at Jean. "I'm going to take a shower," he said with a smirk and hopped out of the bed, Jean looked at the tight ass of Edward as he went into the bathroom, he smirked and followed.

The water was on and Ed was standing under the cascade looking at him expectantly, he chuckled and got in the shower wrapping his arms around the boy, kissing his neck licking at beads of water from the shower, Ed's head titled to the side to give him better access. Then entwined his fingers with the hand that was at his waist. He tipped his head back as Jeans lips moved along his flesh resting against Ed's lips, the kiss started slow and got more heated as Jean's hand slipped down Ed's waist and brushed against his member. Ed gave a small whimper thrusting, wanting more contact. Jean's hand slowly gripped Ed's member who moaned and whimpered at the same time then he gave a small cry when Jean started pumping his hand and kissing his neck at the same time. It didn't take long for the stimulation to make Ed find his release and let it go down the drain. Then the water was off and Jean had them both in a towel.

"What about you?" Ed asked who solemnly believed everything in life should be equivalent exchange.

"I'm fine, let's make breakfast," he said with a smile and they got dressed and quickly made a mess of the kitchen when they started fighting with the pancake batter though considering they licked each other clean it wasn't all bad. But soon it was time for Ed to go and they were dwelling on the door step, not wanting to have to say good bye, but they did every time Ed went on a mission sometimes he'd be gone for weeks at a time even months and they'd miss each other terribly but they couldn't let it show lest anyone get suspicious.

"I'll miss you," Jean said against Ed's lips, Ed smiled and kissed him.

"I'll miss you too," he replied and jean smiled before pulling him into a hug then he laughed.

"Don't forget what I said about the girls there, I don't want anyone stealing you away," he teased and Ed rolled his eyes.

"This coming from the guy who wanted me to find someone else to bestow my affections," Ed said amusedly Jean pouted then laughed.

"Well that was before I knew how affectionate you could be," he replied and they kissed again, but Ed knew he had to go otherwise his brother would get suspicious.

"I love you," he murmured and felt Jeans heart beat as he pulled him into a tight embrace.

"I love you too, be safe," he said and Ed smirked then opened the door.

"You know me, I'm always safe," he said and then left amidst Jeans chuckles, then he sighed he hated having to say good bye because he didn't know the next time he'd see the boy again, and whether or not it would be in a hospital or the office. He'd never admit it but Ed had turned him into a worrywart. But it was okay because Ed always made it up to him some how. He'd grown to love the kid and knew he'd never get out of it.

After the tour in West Ed found more leads and was gone from the office a lot more, Jean tried not to let it show but apparently his team mates were aware of his mood though not the reason behind it which he was grateful for, he just used the "girl dumped me" excuse like he always did, it seemed to placate everyone. But he still missed Ed and during one of Ed's missions it turned out Roy was getting transferred to Central, Ed made a smart ass remark about it then left for another mission. Then after that, it was rare they ever saw much of each other. Though from time to time Ed would call him and he knew Ed thought about him.

"_I think I'm going to tell Al,_" Ed said one evening over the phone, Jean was sitting on his couch phone pressed to his ear.

"Tell him what?" he asked confused, then took a sip from the glass of alcohol next to the cigarette in the ash tray.

"_About us_," Ed said quietly and Jean understood, Ed had kept it from his brother for nearly a year and a half, Ed would be seventeen very soon But he'd found it very difficult to both keep the secret from Al and to tell him, he'd never been sure of what his younger brother's reaction would be, he was worried he'd be disgusted or angry, despite all the instances Jean told him he was just being a worrywart.

"Oh, well I think he'll understand, he's Al after all if he's one thing he's understanding," Jean said reassuringly and there was a grunt of agreement on the other end. Jean frowned.

"What's the matter?" he asked and could almost see the surprise on the boy's face even though he was miles away.

"_Nothing..._" he said and Jean rolled his eyes.

"Ed, you know you can tell me anything, is something wrong?" he asked and there was a sigh from the receiver.

"_Jean...you love me don't you?_" he asked and Jean was at somewhat of a loss of where the conversation was headed.

"Of course Ed, I've...never felt this way about anyone...kinda sad that as a grown man I had to have a brat show me what love is," he admitted and he felt more than anything the small smile on the boy's face.

"_Will you promise me something?_" Ed asked again and Jean still confused pursed his lips before he replied.

"Sure, anything," he said and felt a little worried at the sigh of relief he heard come from the boy.

"_Promise me...that if anything happens...to me you'll find some one else to love okay? I love you and I want you to be happy,_" Ed said and Jean almost felt his heart drop, it clenched tight and he became scared.

"Why? You're fine though, aren't you? There's no need for you to say things like that," he said almost frantically, and he heard strained sounds on the other end. It sounded like Ed was trying not to cry and Jean felt himself start to panic.

"_I love you,_" Ed whispered and then he hung up the phone, while Jean shouted into it, shouted for him. He redialed the number several times but no one ever picked up. For the first time in his life Jean felt scared for someone other than himself and knew there was nothing he could do about it. It felt like he was losing the only person he ever loved. And perhaps he was.


	6. Chapter 6

Yeah sorry, I know you hate me....buuut..it's all good, I don't mind. And no smut in this chap sorries, next time.

You Can't

(It's not Guilt)

_1 and ½ years previously...or close...ish. I know I know I'm evil, but you love me anyway!_

"Ed you really need to stop this, it's not good for you, and it's really not good for me," Jean said as he was cornered in the bathroom by the blond boy, it wasn't the first time either.

"Why?" Ed asked, and Jean could see a mischievous twinkle in the boy's eyes he'd learned to fear that twinkle.

"If I'm caught in a sexual situation with a minor I could go to prison," he said and felt himself against the wall.

"So then…don't get caught," Ed said simply and Jean slouched sliding down the wall a little, his face showing how not amused he was.

"Mmm what a great plan 'don't get caught', yeah this coming from the kid who's trying to-" But he was cut off when Ed grabbed the lapels of his uniform and brought his face down so they were at eye level and then Ed smashed his lips to Jean's again and this time Jean tried to pull away, especially when he felt the tongue, how did the boy know to use that?

"Ed! Stop!" he said placing his hands on Ed's shoulders and pushing him away with force but not painfully.

"But why? I want to, and everything I want I never get the chance to take it because it always slips away, I don't want you to slip away…" he said and his face turned bright red as he turned his face away hiding it with his bags.

"Uhhg," Jean ran a hand through his hair, "Ed…look it's not that I think you should stop…well being you, I know you won't, it's just that I'm nine years older than you. Don't you want someone more your own age? What about that girl….Winry?" he asked and Ed looked at him a look of slight disgust.

"Ew! No way! Winry's like my sister, and besides I don't like girls." He said and Jean sighed, letting the boy's shoulders go.

"Well that's fine but you really need someone your own age," he said and headed out the door, but Ed's voiced echoed.

"Fine, I'll try but when I can't find any one else, I'm coming straight back to you," he said and Jean couldn't help but shiver, that admonishment was something he'd longed to hear a woman say. Jean didn't really have a problem with Ed being gay, he knew a few he just knew he wasn't one himself, but after Ed said that, it went straight to his groin.

"Dammit," he muttered then went back to the office ignoring the looks he got for his slightly ruffled appearance.

Two weeks. He hadn't seen him in two weeks, and Jean was starting to relax again if he was lucky Ed had found someone he liked more than Jean. Jean imagined Ed finding some guy around his age and them actually being happy, but Jean couldn't help the small flood of jealousy he felt at that thought. He frowned no the jealous wasn't for Ed it was because of Ed, it was the thought that the kid would get someone before he would. That was it. But Jean wasn't so sure. He grumbled at himself as he sat in the office alone, finishing up so paperwork that had magically appeared when he'd gone to lunch, he was sure it was the Colonel's but he didn't really mind, maybe it'd help keep his mind off things.

After a little bit of work Jean sighed and was reluctantly pulled into his thoughts again, so what if Ed didn't find someone? What would he do? Jean frowned, he would run away. Definitely. An image of Ed looking dejected and depressed floated to the top of his mind, Jean frowned he didn't want the boy to hurt more; he'd experienced enough pain for several lifetimes. But he couldn't agree, he could get in trouble, and he wouldn't be much help to Mustang if he was in prison. And Ed could be taken in to Psyche doctors to see if he'd been scarred for life. It wouldn't be a good situation, another image of Ed this time on the floor, underneath him, blushing. Jean's eyes widened for a minute before he shook his head trying to clear his thoughts. No he did not find Ed attractive though he did look a little like Marissa who had been blond, but her eyes hadn't been that golden color, and her hair hadn't flowed like Ed's when it was out of its braid and Ed didn't have breasts…and Jean REALLY liked breasts, though he wasn't all that bad looking…for a kid.

Jean slammed his head down on the table. This was getting way too out of hand, Ed was really throwing him for a curve ball, and Jean wasn't intending to catch it, he wasn't even in the ball park.

"What are you doing?" a voice asked and Jean jumped up to see Ed standing by his desk with a raised eyebrow. "And where is everybody?" he asked and Jean had to slow his heart rate down before answering.

"They left for the day," he replied and Ed nodded with a strange look on his face then waltzed over to the couch, thought about sitting then walked back over to Jean and sat on his desk.

"Ed…" he said as a slight warning and Ed just smiled. "I need to finish up, I don't need you distracting me with your problems," he said and Ed frowned.

"What problems?" he asked with narrowed eyes, and Jean frowned.

"Your little crush, that problem, it's causing _me_ problems and I find it annoying," he said and Ed's brow furrowed for a moment and Jean saw hurt flash in his eyes for a moment before it was gone.

"I'll have you know it's not little, it bothered me at first, cause I didn't know what it meant, but now I know it's cause I like you. And I like you a lot Jean…" he said looking down at his gloved hands, he looked smaller than normal.

"Ed you are fifteen years old, after time it'll just go away, you'll find someone else and go through it again, that's how it works with kids," he said looking down at his papers. Not mentioning that that was how it was with adults too.

"Not with me," Ed mumbled and Jean looked up, Ed was still looking at his hand but he continued talking, "You know several people have told me I'm no longer a kid, I did get my certification at 12, that's when I stopped being a child and was considered an adult, I've noticed I never want to do things kids do, and a lot of them avoid me, telling me I'm just like a boring grown up, so you telling me I'm a kid won't work," he said and Jean frowned some people needed to watch what they said especially around a boy whop can recall them word for word.

"But you missed out on your adolescence, your teen years, you went straight from child to adult, you need to be a teenager Ed, try to act like one," he said and Ed turned and glared at him.

"I'm trying, but you're not letting me, I'm trying to get to know someone else besides my brother and in a different way but you won't give me the chance!" he snapped and Jean raised an eyebrow.

"Are you sure you're an adult? Because right now you're acting like a brat," Jean said a little colder than intended, "Because right now you're being selfish and not considering my own feelings. If by some chance I were to like you don't you think pushing your self on me might have the reverse effect? What about my job? Did you ever think that doing this could cost me my job and get me kicked out of the military? No you didn't because you're a selfish brat who I don't have time for!" he said and instantly regretted it he saw the look of hurt clearly on Ed's face this time and felt guilt swell up inside of him because of it.

Ed hung his head and slid of his desk and walked to the door Jean stood up he'd hurt his feeling just because he was tired and frustrated.

"Ed-" he started but Ed spoke over him, but didn't look at him and Jean didn't want to think that he'd made the teen cry.

"No, you're right I haven't thought of you at all, I'm sorry. I just wanted to know what it was like to have someone close to me who wasn't Al or Winry, I've known them my whole life but I've only known you for a few years. I think your right my crush is stupid and will probably just go away. I'll stop troubling you now, you should get back to work," he said softly and Jean stood in shock for a moment before the door closing snapped him out of it.

"Ed wait!" he shouted and was hurrying after the teen through the door. He didn't see him at first but thought he saw the boy's boots go around a corner; he followed and found himself being led to the roof.

He stopped running and caught his breath when he got to the roof he heard it, and knew Ed was crying behind the power house, the guilt he felt as he saw the teen crouched against the wall trying to wipe furiously at tears was overwhelming and knew he was going to give in.

"Ed..." he said and the boy jumped not hearing him come over to him, he jumped up and tried futilely to get the tears away.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean what I said, I'm just tired okay?" Jean asked and Ed nodded looking like he still wanted to get away. Jean sighed and slowly engulfed the younger blond in an embrace.

"I'm sorry," he muttered and felt the boy twitch a bit before his arms were around the taller man's waist in a strong grip his face buried in the blue folds of the military uniform. It took awhile before Ed calmed down to show his face and let go but he didn't and Jean figured because Ed thought this would be the only chance he'd get to hold the older blond.

Havoc sighed and knew if he wanted the kid to actually get over this quickly he would have to give in and humor him for a while.

"Ed...if...if you're that serious...about this...then I...I won't say no anymore," he said and he felt the boy move he looked up at the older blond hopeful, Jean let himself smile a little at how cute he looked.

"Really? You're not just doing it because you feel guilty?" he asked and Havoc stopped and thought about it, Ed wasn't_ really_ a child and he wasn't bad looking he was very intelligent and from Jean's experience not a bad kisser.

"No, I'm not," he said truthfully and like the smile that lit up the blonds' face because of it. Without realizing he was doing it, he bent down and slowly pressed his lips to Ed's, Ed looked surprised at first then his eyes slid closed and relished in the kiss Jean knew sealed his fate. He would fall and fall hard for this boy without even realizing it.


	7. Chapter 7

Well this chapter is pretty wordy and by wordy I mean there isn't much dialog, it's pretty much Jean feeling bad for himself. But that's okay, he has good reason. Enjoy!

Sub Whispers

(Part 8)

(Don't Forget)

_Present...um...ish? Oh you'll get it._

One Year, one long year, the longest year Jean had ever lived. Was the one without Ed. The one without Ed's spontaneity, one without Ed's laughter one without Ed's hands, one with out his smile, his lips, his voice, his hair, his pink cheeks that Jean loved to tease him about. That Jean loved to kiss and caress. A year with out Ed was like a year without air. Jean couldn't take it he felt as if he was going to go insane. Jean had remembered Ed telling him he wanted him to be happy, and Jean knew he couldn't be happy without the short blond, no matter how good he was at acting happy he never was anymore.

He was now scared, scared he was forgetting his lover; he wished he could remember the feel of the boy's hair on his skin or the feel of the boy's smooth skin. Or the way he looked when he was sleeping, the way his eyes closed in laughter, the way his face looked when he talked about memories of his brother. Jean wanted to be able to run his hand along the boy's arms, flesh and automail, he wanted to be able to kiss the flesh at his neck he wanted to tell him he loved him that he could never love anyone else that he could never try. But it was hard when they weren't there to hear those declarations.

He'd asked the promoted Brigadier-General after three months of not hearing from the alchemist if he knew where he was, and the man's face had darkened a little and said the boy had gone on a long term mission and there was no set date for him to return. So in other words he had no idea, it did not help Jean's sense of foreboding that he'd had ever since the phone call, the _last _phone call he'd received from Ed. Ever since the incident the office felt a little different the Brigadier-General was actually doing his paperwork without Hawkeye's prodding. And everyone else noticed that Jean was less like himself as well, he wasn't as cheerful and had more smoking breaks no one knew why but figured it was because of Roy's behavior, and Jean thought Roy's behavior was due to him knowing something of Ed's absence.

"Sir," Havoc said in Mustangs new office, the dark eyes looked up for a moment then looked back down the man grunted.

"What can I do for you Captain Havoc?" He asked and Jean could hear the exhaustion in the man's voice.

"Chief..." Havoc said again, he was worried about the man he looked terrible probably similar to Jean himself. Roy looked up again and raised an eyebrow.

"You look like crap, what.... Does it have to do with the Boss?" he asked quietly and Roy's eyes cringed.

"Edward is on a mission, he's probably fine," he said and Jean tried not to get angry at the response.

"He's been gone for a year, he'd be eighteen now, if he's still alive," Jean said feeling the cringe in his heart as he spoke the words he'd been dreading and Roy looked even more pained. And Jean used all of his self control not to break down; Roy thought he was gone too. He couldn't be. Ed was one of the strongest people on the planet, not even death could stop him.

"Where is he Roy?" he asked and Roy closed his eyes and gave a tired sigh.

"I have no idea, but he's trying to get Al's body back that's all I know, that's all he told me. But from that I figure he's trying to use a very dangerous form of human alchemy, it has me worried and with his lack of return..." Roy sighed and ran a finger through his hair.

"I don't know what to think anymore Jean, I can't help but believe I sent that boy to his death," Roy said and Jean saw the pain in the man's dark eyes.

"No, you know that without you those two wouldn't be how they are, they'd be stuck in that town a cripple and a suit of armor, you gave them hope," Jean said, and he didn't know where he was getting it from, the ability to reassure his commanding officer and friend when at the moment he needed the reassurance that the one he loved was okay. He didn't know how, but he'd managed to act like everything was normal the day after the phone call, though he called in sick the immediate day after not trusting himself not to break down, though the next day at work he was normal, and nobody knew he felt like his heart was breaking. The only thing everyone really noticed and took into concern was he'd stopped complaining about girlfriends, and that was because it hurt him to much to think about let alone joke about. Ed had told him to find someone else to be happy. But Jean had asked how he could be happy knowing he'd lost the one he loved. With no reason no why or how, just that he was gone. Jean was torn up inside, if it wasn't for his loyalty and friendship to Roy he would have quit to go and look for him, but he had to stay for Roy. The man needed support too.

The Brigadier-General sighed and looked at Jean with thanks. Roy was feeling terrible about Ed; he'd grown to care for the boy, almost like a father. But when Ed came into his office to tell him he was going on a long term mission and he might not come back he felt torn between fatherly instincts and officer's obligation eventually the officer won but not without much questioning on the fatherly side. Ed however gave nothing away he told him and then left. He hadn't been heard from since.

"Thanks Jean I needed that," he said and Jean gave him a small smile.

"We all do once in a while Chief, now you need to get back to finding a way to becoming Fuhrer, and maybe you will be by the time that shrimp finds his way back home," Jean said trying to smile, but knowing it was pained and he wasn't sure if Roy had caught it or not. But it didn't matter the voice from the door shocked them both.

"Who the Hell are you calling a shrimp?"


	8. Chapter 8

You'll like this chapter it's cute AND it's heated. *shrug* I thought it was necessary....but yeah....anywho....whatever. enjoy, and review please.

You Can't

(First Times)

_1 year previously._ :) you love me…I know.

"Hey Jean?" Ed asked looking up from the book he was reading on the couch next to the older man in his apartment. Jean's arm was loosely wrapped around Ed's shoulders and Ed was resting against his side.

"Hmm?" the man replied looking at a few case files for the Colonel.

"What would you do if I said I love you?" he asked quietly, Jean looked up at the blond boy next to him and stared for a moment before he remembered he had to reply.

"Um I..." he frowned "I don't know, that's kind of heavy..." he replied and Ed looked at him then smiled.

"You look really funny when you're thinking too hard," he replied and Jean frowned and pouted at the same time, Ed laughed then scooted up to kiss him. Jean's arm followed to keep him up as the younger man's mouth opened up, he slipped his tongue in and started a wrestling match with Ed's.

At first Jean had been uncomfortable with the kisses and always kept them short, but somewhere along the six months they had been together he'd started enjoying them and almost craving them, and it didn't help his whole moral dilemma in thinking he was a pedophile. But even after Ed's reminders that he was sixteen now, it didn't help much. He had started to think of Ed as a partner and it was starting to freak him out. And when Ed noticed his mood, and Jean had been bullied into telling him, Ed told him he was an idiot.

Jean had thought about it, he'd thought about Ed, the boy was intelligent and had a good sense of humor and had shown Jean that he really truly and deeply cared for him and Jean realized that when he thought of the boy he would smile and his chest would feel warm. He couldn't believe it but it was true he'd fallen for a boy nine years younger than him and at least two feet shorter, but there was no doubting the boy was good looking. And Jean truly did care for him.

Finally the battle of tongues ended and they broke apart Ed blushing a little as he buried his face in the man's chest Jean couldn't help but laugh. Six months and even after his stubbornness the boy would still blush after a kiss.

"I would say...I love you too," Jean said quietly in the boy's hair, and Ed froze and looked up.

"Really?" he whispered and Jean smiled then ran his hand along the boy's jaw line, then softly pressed his lips on the boy's.

"Really," he said and Ed's face broke into a brilliant smile. Then he threw his arms around the man and squeezed, Jean returned the hug with a laugh. He really hoped he didn't regret this in the future.

Ed was straddling Jean's lap in the kitchen they were facing each other their mouths connected. Jean's arms wrapped around Ed's waist while the boy's arms were around the older blonds' neck, his hands in the man's hair careful not to get it tangled in the automail. Jean moved his mouth to Ed's neck and sucked on it gently, Ed gave a small moan and pushed himself closer to the man so their crotches were touching. Havoc gave a gasp against the boy's throat.

"Jean..." Ed breathed and the man looked at his younger partner. "I want..." he pushed them closer their groins brushing together harder.

They had come close to it before but never going all the way, Jean wouldn't allow it, feeling he would be a cradle-robber. But as more time passed he couldn't help but start thinking he wanted to go further with Ed but he wouldn't do it if the boy wasn't willing.

"A-are you sure?" he asked and Ed nodded.

"Please..." he replied and Jean caressed his face before kissing him and lifting him up and taking him to his bedroom. He laid him down and kissed him again more deeply before sitting up and frowning.

"I don't know exactly what to do..." he said and Ed gave him a smile then pulled him down.

"I trust you," he said and kissed him their tongues dancing gently before getting more heated as their clothes started to come off. Jean ran his hands down the boy's toned chest and stomach making the boy arch in to his touch. He ghosted his lips along the boy's collar bone before sucking at the junction of Ed's shoulder and automail. The boy gave a cry of pleasure, apparently that was sensitive.

"Unng!" Ed cried and arched into Jean when his hand reached the boy's member. The boy was reeling and Jean knew what to do he just wasn't sure if he should.

"Please..." Ed said again and Jean's resolve broke, he'd do anything the boy would ask. He was so lost, he'd fallen hard.

Jean sat up and ran a hand through his hair before remembering, he reached in the draw of his bedside table and pulled out a bottle of lube that was next to a package of condoms, Ed raised an eyebrow.

"What?" Jean asked and Ed gestured to the lube. "Oh, you know it's not just to make it easier for guys, normal sex can use it too," he said and Ed just laughed then gasped as he felt a lube covered finger touch his entrance.

"Is...this...?" he asked and Ed nodded, Jean pushed the finger in and Ed gasped then relaxed after a while Jean put in another finger and bent them a bit to try and help the stretching more, then Ed bucked on his fingers and gave a cry.

"Oh fuck do that again," he panted and Jean obliged making Ed buck again after inserting another finger. He bent them and Ed bucked again crying out in pleasure.

"Now...please now..." Ed panted and Jean took out his fingers then put some lube on himself before bending to kiss Ed.

"You should flip over it'll be easier," he said and Ed nodded and did, Jean placed himself at Ed's entrance and slowly pushed in Ed moaned and pushed back impaling himself and Jean gave a hiss and a moan.

"Oh god Ed..." he moaned and Ed rocked his hips telling him to move, Jean did, starting to thrust in slowly while brushing kisses all over Ed's neck and shoulders.

"Fuck! Jean, faster!" Ed said moaning and bucking as he kept hitting the spot inside that made him see stars.

"Ed...Ed!" Jean panted and went faster at Ed's request; soon Ed couldn't take it and climaxed finding his release and shouting his lover's name at the top of his lungs. Jean followed as Ed clenched around him making the pleasure unbearable. He collapsed on Ed and rolled over so he didn't crush the boy. Ed turned over and snuggled into Jeans waiting arms.

"Thank you...I love you," he murmured before starting to drift off in the safe confines of Jean's arms.

"I love you too," Jean muttered before kissing the boy on the forehead and falling asleep holding his lover, a small smile on his face. He'd never felt this happy after sex before, perhaps because this time it wasn't just sex, he'd made love with someone he truly loved and cared for.

Reviews for the poor depraved writer? xD please and thank you.


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry it took so long for me to update...i was sick...*cough hack* not pretty. Well anyway...sorry this one is kinda short..they should get longer as we go on...I hope...we'll see.

You Can't

(Remembering)

_Present_

Ed stood in the door way, smiling at the two shocked officers. He looked almost the same as before he left except a little taller and his hair was longer. He had a black coat on in place of the red one but underneath it was the same, boots and all.

"Ed," Jean breathed, he wanted to rush over to his lover and smack him stupid just as he wanted to kiss him and hold him and never let go. Roy on the other hand decided to stop at the first one; he approached the boy and smacked him right across the face. Ed looked back and looked mostly amused as he rubbed his cheek.

"I know I deserved that," he said and his eyes met Jean's and they held an apology. Showing how truly sorry he was to leave the man behind and Jean just liked seeing those eyes again he was trying to show how angry he was with the boy. "I'm sorry," he mouthed and Jean felt himself melt, no matter how hard he tried he couldn't stay angry at him.

"It took longer than I thought, but I'm back now," he said and Roy was glaring at him he was furious and no amount of apology could make him not be.

"You should have told me where you were going you idiot!" he yelled and Ed sighed, stepping into the office and pushing Roy back.

"I know, I just didn't want anyone rushing off to stop me, not like it would have mattered, but it's fine now." he said and smiled turning his head to look behind him. And that was when both Jean and Roy saw the other person in the door. He had short blond hair darker than Ed's and gray eyes that were alight with happiness and laughter. The boy was taller than Ed by a foot, and his face was softer and kinder but there was definite likeness.

"Al?" Jean asked and the boy nodded, Jean smiled and went over to hug the boy. The boy blushed slightly when he did but returned the hug.

"It's good to finally meet the real you," he said and could feel the happiness rolling off of Ed Jean turned to see him smiling at the two of them and Jean really wanted to wrap his arms around the boy- no young man now- and just hold him, tell him he loved him and he'd missed him and he was an idiot but he still loved him anyway. But he couldn't because his superior officer might find it odd. Roy gave a huge sigh.

"Thank you Lieutenant- I mean Captain Havoc," Al said smiling at the man, it was slightly knowing and Jean remembered Ed was going to tell Al about them, he tried not to blush and avoided looking at anyone.

"It is good to see you finally in your body Alphonse, but Ed that was reckless and if you ever do something like it again-" Roy began, his fatherly instincts taking over.

"I know I know I'll get my ass fried," Ed said grinning then with a smirk he saluted and Roy and Jean looked at one another before turning back.

"Colonel Bastard Sir, Edward Elric reporting for duty!" he grinned and Roy frowned Havoc laughed and Al sighed.

"I'm not a Colonel anymore Fullmetal," he said and Ed grinned.

"Oh I know, But Brigadier-General Bastard doesn't roll off the tongue as well." he replied and Roy just sighed before saluting the boy back.

"Good to have you back Fullmetal," then he frowned again. "But I thought you were going to give up the military once you restored you bodies?" he said and there was a small cringe before Ed answered.

"Well I still need a livelihood, and right now the military is my only option, for personal reasons, so I'll be working under you for a while longer. Maybe I'll help you reach Fuhrer...I haven't decided yet." He smirked and Roy rolled his eyes, then went back over to his desk.

"Well now that you're back it means more paper work. Go find someone else to bother," he muttered and they all saw he still had a smile on his face.

"I can take them Chief," Jean said trying not to sound so desperate. "Do you guys have a place to stay yet?" he asked and he grinned at their negative response, "Well I've got an extra bed if you want it," he said and Ed was smiling at him.

"That sounds fine Havoc, you can leave early today to make sure they are settled and don't decide to run away again," Roy said looking at Ed, who was frowning, with a smirk.

"Come on boys," Havoc said and Roy sighed but smiled, it was good to have a light back in the dreary office.

For Ed and Jean it was hell waiting to get back to Jean's apartment. But once the door was closed they were on each other like a girl on chocolate. A menstrual girl on chocolate. (I honestly think that is the closest analogy, no one jumps as fast as a PMSing chocolate craving girl.)

"Ed don't you dare ever leave me again!" Jean said his arms wrapped around the younger man in a death grip, Ed had his face buried in the man's chest his own arms holding him just as tightly.

"I'm sorry Jean, I'm so sorry," he muttered and Jean pulled his face up so he could kiss him, it had been so long since he'd touched those lips he kissed him again and again, leaving no room for anything else.

"Not that this isn't sweet but could you _please_ get a room?" Al said giving them a look between amusement and grossed out. Jean and Ed blushed, they'd never actually kissed in front of someone before and the first time they did, it just so happened to be Ed's younger brother.

"Sorry Al," Ed said still bright red in the face.

"Yeah, sorry Al. Though that can be arranged," Jean said and before anything else Ed was dragged into Jean's bedroom.

"If I'm gone when you come back out it means you were being too loud!" Al said and he heard the door close and then something slam against it. He sighed. His brother had been totally depressed until they returned to Central and Al had finally put two and two together to find 'y'. Al smiled it was because Ed was in love with Captain Havoc and he'd been missing the man for the last year, Al had noticed at first and didn't know why then one night Ed told him about the two of them Al had been a little shocked to say the least but it didn't matter to him, Al was just happy because Ed was happy. He deserved it.


	10. Chapter 10

For some people tears make men look weak, but to me I think that if a man can cry for love he's more masculine. That's just me though. Well anyway...enjoy.

You Can't

(Tears)

"Ed why were you gone so long?" Jean said from beside Ed on the bed, his hands running through the long blond hair as the younger man tried to get himself as close as possible to the older man. Who hadn't failed to notice the automail still attached to his body.

"When I found out how to bring back Al, I needed to go somewhere specifically to do the transmutation and that was somewhere I can't exactly tell you, and when I had him back he suffered from oversensitivity because of his time in the armor. It took him longer than both of us thought for him to recover, and then we had to go back to Risembool to see Winry. She wouldn't let us leave for a really long time, not until I told her....well about you," he said and looked up at the older blond, who nodded he wasn't afraid the girl would tell.

"Then she let us go, and when we got back....when I saw you in the office I almost couldn't control myself I wanted you so bad, I almost started crying. I'm sorry Jean," he said and it seemed he couldn't hold back his tears he looked up and placed his flesh hand on the older man's cheek, Jean held it with his own against his cheek.

"I'm so sorry for leaving you, I was so worried you'd hate me when I came back," he sobbed and Jean felt tears running down his own cheeks.

"I could never hate you, and I can never let you go again," he said through his own tears and held the younger man to his chest while they both cried and told each other how much they loved one another.

Jean ran his lips along Ed's jaw and neck and shoulders and chest everywhere he could, to make sure he didn't forget anything. His hand following suit as Ed returned the favor letting his own hands map the older man's body. Jean placed his lips on Ed's letting Ed take it how ever he wanted to, Ed pushed his tongue into Jean's mouth and egged him on into a battle of dominance that he won.

"Ed...I want to feel you..." Jean breathed and Ed's eyes widened. And he pulled back a little.

"A-are you sure?" Ed asked and Jean nodded.

"I trust you Ed," he said and Ed smiled then started to kiss the man's neck and chest and down to the man's erection. He took it in his mouth and Jean gave a small gasp and stopped himself from thrusting into the boy's mouth. Ed had to release him for a moment so he could grab the lube and coat his fingers in it. Then he took the man in his mouth again and gently slid a finger in and waited for Jean to give him the okay, he sucked gently on the man's member to help him relax, he was very tense, it took him a while before he did and Ed could move his finger around and add another. He took it slowly because he knew this was odd for the man who had always been on top until now. He added the third finger and prodded a softer part in the man that had him bucking up with a cry. Ed let his member out of his mouth as he pulled his fingers out.

"Feels good doesn't it?" he asked and Jean nodded, a little out of it as Ed put lube on his own member and placed himself at his older lover's entrance.

"Tell me if you want me to stop," he said and slowly pushed in Jean tried to relax but his hands were pulling on the sheets and Ed bent over to kiss the man sweetly and languidly he felt him relax and slowly seated himself.

"Unng...move..." Jean moaned and Ed did as asked rocking his hips before pulling out and pushing back and hitting that special spot, Jean cried out again and bucked his hips. Ed started thrusting and made it so he would hit that spot every time, Jean met him for each trust and couldn't contain himself as he shouted for Ed when he climaxed. Ed doing the same before he pulled out and crawled into Jean's waiting arms.

"We are most definitely doing that again," the older blond said, and Ed laughed in the crevice of the man's neck before turning his head and kissing him on the lips.

"And now we have all the time in the world to do it too," he said and Jean smiled, then kissed him back.

"I love you," Jean said.

"I love you too," Ed replied then they both fell into a comfortable sleep.

And I love reviews, so do that. REVIEW! xD


	11. Chapter 11

For some reason...I have Adam Lambert stuck in my head...you know the parts when he like screams? Yeah it's that...again and again.

You Can't

(Nothing can go wrong)

"So Fullmetal have you found a place yet, I don't want you imposing on Jean," Mustang said not looking up from his paperwork about two weeks after Ed's mysterious return.

"It's no imposition Chief actually I don't mind it's nice to have people at home after work instead of an empty apartment," Jean said leaning back in his chair a cigarette between his lips. "Though I might have to get another bed, that pull out can't be too comfortable with both of you on it," he said to Ed and Al who were sitting on the couch playing a card game, which Ed was winning.

"Oh No it's fine! You don't need to spend any money on us Captain! Really!" Al said, and Ed grinned as he got another winning hand.

"Oh it wouldn't be a problem, I was just thinking, it might be bad for your back and it might stunt your growth, and goodness knows we can't have the boss shrinking," he said and in a second Ed was yelling in his face.

"WHO YOU CALLING SO SMALL-" he started then Jean put a hand over his mouth and grinned.

"Aaah...I missed this..." he smiled and Ed rolled his eyes as the rest of the office laughed and Ed went back to his game.

"How could you miss it you've been doing it for the last two weeks!" Ed grumbled, and Jean turned to him with a huge grin.

"Oh well yeah, but that was just me there in the house, it feels more right in the office," he grinned and Ed blushed as he picked up the innuendo.

"Humph!" Ed said and everyone laughed again not realizing the true reason behind Ed's red face. Hawkeye walked over and handed Jean some files.

"Take these to Personnel please," she said in her no argument voice, Jean sighed then stood up and walked out the door, Ed's face grew evil.

"Brother...what are you thinking?" Al said noticing the feral grin upon his brother's face, then everyone else turned, Ed smiled innocently.

"Nothing...um just wondering...are there any...stairs on the way to personnel?" he asked and everyone got the message. Breda started laughing Fury looked worried Falman frowned and Riza sighed.

"No but there are plenty of windows," Mustang said failing to hide his smirk. Ed stood up grinning.

"I have to go to the bathroom," he said and was gone, everyone laughed at his less than tactless attempt at getting back at Havoc for the short comments.

"Sir you are such a bad influence on that boy," Hawkeye told her commanding officer, who just smiled and went back to his paperwork.

"Not gonna stop him Al?" Breda asked, and Al shook his head.

"No way. I am not getting involved, Captain Havoc had it coming, he's been calling brother short so much I'm surprised he's still alive," Al said and everyone else sighed they were expecting the blond captain to come back a little worse for wear.

"Ed...I have to get them to personnel so you can work with us," Jean said between moans, Ed's hands wandered down the man's chest under his shirt. Ed pulled him down and covered his mouth with his own.

"But I want..." he said lust clouding his eyes, Jean moaned.

"Don't talk like that, I can't say no..." he muttered and let the files drop to the floor of the supply closet, as he grabbed the younger man's face and smothered his lips with kisses.

"I want you..." Ed finished after he was given a chance to breath. Jean pulled Ed's shirt open and started sucking on his collar bone, Ed stifled a moan with his hand. Jean's hand moved down and into the boy's pants, Ed's hips bucked when Jean grasped his length.

"Mnnng!" he said between gritted teeth Jean smirked and took the boy's mouth with his own again as he released the member from its leather confines and started to pump. Ed moaned into his mouth and bucked to get Jean to move his hand faster, Jean did while thrusting his tongue into the smaller blonds' mouth. He broke the kiss to start taking his pants off; Ed grabbed his hand and started sucking on his fingers. Jean felt himself get harder at the erotic sight. He pushed Ed against the wall and lifted him up so his legs were wrapped around his waist, he slowly slid in a finger and Ed ground his hips against the man's stomach telling him to hurry up. Jean put in another finger and scissored a few times to help widen the hole, he put in a third and bent them touching the spot the drove his lover wild.

"Mmmng! Jean!" He gasped and bucked again as his head flew back. Jean smirked then removed his fingers and placed himself at Ed's entrance carefully sliding in so as not to hurt him. Ed moaned and Jean covered his mouth with his own to keep him quiet, he slowly started to thrust, his speed increasing as Ed's moans grew harder to muffle. He thrusted in deeper and was glad he muffled Ed's scream of ecstasy, it wasn't much longer before Ed came spilling his seed over Jean's stomach and Jean spilling his own inside of Ed. They clung together for a moment before breaking apart.

"Happy now?" Jean asked as Ed started cleaning up, transmuting the mess into dust.

"Exceptionally, oh and by the way, stairs," Ed said and Jean frowned then understood, he shook his head and laughed. He organized himself to look not like he'd just had sex in a supply closet but like he'd fallen down some stairs. Ed smiled then left, Jean followed shortly, taking the files to Personnel who all looked at him oddly before he returned to the office. He walked in with a scowl and glared at Ed. The whole room cracked up. Fuery asked what had happened and Jean said Ed had _made_ some stairs for him to fall down. Everyone lost it and Jean had to glare at them. It was good to have Ed back there was so much more laughter and Jean expected it to last for a long time coming.

o0o0o0o

"Hey Havoc why are you so tired today?" Breda asked as the blond man lifted his head from his desk with a groan.

"Ask the little devil," he muttered before letting it fall back to the desk, Ed looked up from his own desk, fully clad in his own uniform which he had gotten the day before, to scowl at the man but his eyes were twinkling with mischief.

"Boss?" Breda asked with a grin and Ed smiled innocently.

"Oh nothing...we just played a few card games," strip poker being one of them, Ed smiled at the memory, Ed had come home in the uniform and Jean had almost literally jumped him in the entrance hall.

"Like what?" Fuery asked confused as to how a card game could tire someone out. And Mustang looked up to listen. He was fairly curious as well.

"Well me and Al used to play this one we made up, it's like War, only if you lose you had to do a chore, since we were always arguing about them, and we did that only it was a bit different since Al does all the chores now anyway," Ed said when his brother cut in.

"Well what else do you expect me to do brother?" the boy said from the entrance holding two boxed lunches.

"You can get a job if you want...but make sure it's not dangerous or-" he began and both Jean and Al sighed.

"Overprotective brother with a complex!" Jean said and had a pencil thrown at his head, he dodged by putting it back on his desk with a grin.

"_Anyway_, we decided to change it up by doing ridiculous things instead, like running around the apartment with ice down your pants," he grinned and Jean gave a dramatic shiver. The whole office paused before breaking out into laughter.

"I am _never_ playing that game with you again you little demon," Jean said glaring at Ed who only smiled.

"That was pretty horrible brother," Al said setting a lunch box on each Havoc's and Ed's desks.

"Oh hush Al, you were laughing the whole time," Ed said rolling his eyes, and Al flushed.

"Yeah Al I mean seriously aren't you supposed to be passive and gentle and here you are laughing at my pain," Jean said dramatically. And Ed started laughing.

"My brother is by no means passive! You haven't seen him when he's angry! Now _that_ is scary," Ed said not being able to hold back a shudder.

"Brother!" Al said in that soft voice of his, no one could believe some one like Al could get angry enough to hurt someone.

"You should have seen him, we were out to get groceries once and there was a guy mistreating a cat, a cat for god's sake! And Al went off the handle! I had to pull him off of the poor fool!" Ed said and started laughing hysterically, Al started blushing furiously and mostly everyone looked on in shock, except Mustang who let out a light chuckle.

"I believe it, if the words "Ed in danger" come out of someone's mouth Al goes all out for his brother, not just for felines," Mustang said with a grin and a light tone of affection, Al blushed deeper.

"Brigadier-General!" he squeaked and Ed laughed then pat his brother on the head.

"Al you know I'm the one who's supposed to be overly protective not you," he grinned and Al buried his face in his hands.

"You are," Jean, Breda, Mustang, Fury and Falman all said, Ed scowled at them, but just stuck his tongue out at them in response.

"That was mature," Mustang said grinning, and Ed glared.

"Well we can't all have the mannerism of an old man, Colonel Bastard," Ed smirked and Roy frowned then returned the gesture, his tongue stinking way out.. Ed started laughing along with Havoc, but they shut up the moment they heard a click.

"How is your paperwork coming along sir?" Hawkeye asked almost lazily, well as lazily as she could, with her pistol aimed in his direction. Mustang cleared his throat then bent back down and started on his work.

Ed and Jean started laughing behind their hands and froze when the pistol was aimed at them; they immediately started doing their own work. Al was the only one laughing now, he had a small smile on his face and he shared a grin with Captain Hawkeye before she started on her own work.

After about an hour of working someone from Personnel stepped into the office, he set a file on the Brigadier-General's desk then left, Roy frowned then opened the file read it and his eyes widened, he looked at Ed for a moment then sat back and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"What is it Sir?" Jean asked after it looked like no one else would.

"Ed has been promoted," he said simply and Ed looked at the man in surprise.

"I have? Why?" he asked incredulously, he stood up and went over to the file and looked at it.

"What? What a load of shit!" he said after he read through it. Roy gave a snort like he agreed, then Ed stopped he found another file under the first he read it and smirked.

"Looks like someone else got promoted too," he grinned and handed the file to the man, "And it's all thanks to me, right Major-General?" he smirked and Roy looked at the file in surprise.

"Well I'll be damned," he muttered. "And it is thanks to you," he said then started laughing "I guess I did get a promotion out of you Lieutenant-Colonel," and Ed grinned.

"That's right so no more bitching about me not doing anything to help your career." Ed said then sat back down, then frowned. "And if you don't mind, become Fuhrer soon, I don't have a good feeling about the whole direct promotion from the current one," he said and Roy nodded in agreement. The report Ed had turned in had been complete bullshit, about finding no stone but him finding the cure for the sickness that had kept Al in the armor for protection. And then him helping towns and such on the way back? Utter baloney but it had garnered Ed a promotion which he didn't mind because that meant more money and he'd be able to help Jean out more. He smiled at the man.

"Hey now that I get paid more I'll be able to help pay for things around the house," He grinned and Jean laughed.

"And now that you mention it, I think you owe me for all the food you eat," he said and Ed stuck his tongue out at him Jean laughed, life was good, Ed had Al and Jean had Ed. Nothing could go wrong. It's fine when one says that nothing will go wrong, except when it does.


	12. Chapter 12

I'd call this a filler...but it really isn't...why? Because it has smut you sillies. Duh. So it's just...a chapter between chaps...and you guys needed some smut anyway didnchya? *wink* lawl

You Can't

(Conspiratorial sex)

In the new office of Major-General Roy Mustang, there were lush couches and a window and a separate office for the man, when they walked in Ed and Jean had to avoid looking at each other for several reasons, or more like several images that wouldn't help them in the least.

"Well that was fun, moving all of the shit from the old office into the new one, truly exciting I see why I needed to come in today," Ed said as he flopped onto the couch his voice so casual it was sarcastic.

"Oh no, seeing as you were so much help as it was Lieutenant-Colonel," Mustang said as he placed some books in his new office.

"Yeah, yeah...I'm hungry can I leave?" he paused, "No better yet can Havoc and I leave?" he asked and Mustang and Jean looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"Why?" Jean asked knowing full well the reason why.

"So you can treat me of course," he said and Jean gave him a look.

"What? Are you kidding? _You _should treat _me, _Lieutenant-Colonel endless garbage pit," Jean replied and Ed rolled his eyes then turned back to Mustang.

"Please?" he asked pulling out the puppy-dog look he learned from Al, Mustang's eye twitched before he pointed to the door.

"Get out you manipulative little mooch," he said and Ed just grinned then grabbed Havoc's wrist and dragged him out of the room they all pretended to not hear the man's pleas for help.

"They've gotten close," Hawkeye said as she brought another box of books into Mustangs private office.

"Yeah, I think it's good for him, for both of them, Ed _and _Al, to get to know someone other than each other and Jean's a good guy I know he cares for them, I'm happy about it," Mustang said and didn't miss the small smile Riza gave him, he couldn't help but smile back though it looked more like a smirk. The woman rolled her eyes and started putting books on the shelves in Mustang's office as well, but was interrupted when he grabbed her wrist and pulled her to his chest so he could make their lips connect.

"Sir!" she said when they'd broken apart, "Not in the office!" she said and there was a definite tint to her cheeks.

"Excuse me Captain," he grinned and let go of her, taking his arms from around her waist. She glared at him but there was no malevolence in it. He couldn't hide his smirk. There was something just so tantalizing about office romance. (MT: you have _no_ idea Roy-Toy)

"So Ed I haven't seen Al around lately, did you demand he stay at home so he doesn't get a paper cut?" Breda asked with a huge grin. Ed gave him a look.

"Hilarious Breda really, my sides are splitting." He replied dryly, his voice less than amused and dripping with sarcasm, Breda just laughed.

"Al went back to Risembool," Jean replied tapping his chin with his pen as he read through a report.

"Why's that?" Breda asked with a frown and Jean blinked a few times before grinning, and then turned to the red head with a smirk.

"Why to visit the beautiful automail mechanic Winry, of course," Jean replied and Ed had to stifle a snort he then grinned at Jean.

"Oh I'd love to see the look on her face if you said that in front of her, she'd be caught in between pleased and pissed," Ed laughed, Jean grinned and Breda looked almost depressed.

"Wait, you mean...?" Breda said and Jean placed his elbow on his desk and his chin in his hand, a smirk on his face.

"Oh yes the youngest Elric is attracted to the mechanic," Jean's eyes were glittering with mirth. And Breda paled.

"But I always thought Ed-!" he started and Ed snorted.

"Nooo thank you," he said and went back to his paperwork. Jean looked at the red head expectantly.

"Pay up," he said and Breda looked horrified, Ed looked up in curiosity.

"What's this?" he asked and Jean smiled.

"We are going to have extra food money for a month! I made a bet with Heymans about who you would end up with, he said Winry and I said that wasn't likely, and that bet was made...three years ago?" he asked the pale man, who nodded. "and since we didn't know for sure then we said we'd settle it later, but just to shake things up I said we should put an interest rate on it, and by now, it should be close to 674 cenz," he said with a definite gloating grin.

"You know exactly?" Breda asked almost in a screech, and Jean just nodded.

"I knew I was gonna win this one, I always thought Al was more likely to go with her than Ed," Jean replied and Breda let his head fall to his desk in defeat. Ed started laughing.

"At first I was kinda pissed but now I like the idea of more food, yay for me!" he said grinning, then a voice spoke from the inner office.

"How did you know Havoc?" Roy asked and then walked out to lean against the door frame, he kept the door open to not feel so isolated he said but everyone knew it was so he could listen in on gossip.

"Um...well..." he mumbled and looked at Ed for help who was had his lips pursed slightly in thought.

"He knows cause I told him I'm not into girls," Ed finally said and the office froze, Roy looked to have stopped breathing out of shock. "It's not that big of a deal, you guys don't have to freak out," he said and shrugged then he threw his pen at the Major-General.

"You can breathe now womanizer," he said and he grinned when the man frowned.

"I am not a womanizer," he started and Ed waved his hand to shut him up.

"Yeah, yeah and I'm as big as Armstrong," He said rolling his eyes and ignoring the fact he'd called himself small, "You think maybe it was because of your bad influence I started looking at guys instead? Cause I mean I didn't want to have a repeat of poor Havoc's love-life experience," he said and got hit in the chest by a paper clip.

"Hey that hurts deep Boss," Havoc replied, "I do not have a bad-" he paused looked at his superior officer then sagged in defeat, "Yeah it's all his fault," he said and the office laughed and Roy rolled his eyes.

"Your inability to get a date is not my fault Jean, I believe it's the smoke, but that's just me. Now that we're finished discussing our love lives, get back to work!" he barked and after the chuckles subsided a chorus of "Yes sir," and "Sure Chief", and "Alright Bastard", everyone went to work. After that nothing really changed except an occasional glance at the recently outed boy who chose to ignore them.

It was lunch time when everyone left the office to go and get food, Jean walked over to his lover who was stretching, and he sat on his desk and frowned.

"I'm sorry I didn't know what to say," he replied and Ed stood up and leaned in to kiss him, their lips brushing as he spoke.

"It's okay, I don't really care, it'll die down eventually, just pretend you still like girls and we'll be fine," he said and their lips made contact letting the tongues confined behind them dance for awhile before parting to let them breath.

"I do like girls I just like you more," Jean said and let their lips meet again. Then Ed noticed the open door to the Major-General's empty office, he smirked. He grabbed Jean's hand and dragged him inside.

"Oh no…" Jean said and Ed just smiled as he started taking stacks of paper off of the desk, clearing the top.

"Do you have a death wish or something?" Jean asked as he walked back over to the door, and locked it. He wasn't going to lie; this had always been a fantasy of his, to do it on his boss's desk, the boss that had stolen too many girlfriends.

"I don't see you bowing out," Ed replied and Jean made a face before jumping at the younger man, their lips met and Ed was pushed down on top of the mahogany desk.

"Well, I never said I wouldn't do it," the man said with a lopsided smirk, Ed rolled his eyes and moaned when his uniform was pushed up to let Jean's hands roam over his chest. His gloved hands wove themselves into the short blond hair of the head that was leaning over his collar bone. Jean's lips ghosted over the now exposed flesh of his neck. Ed gave a breathy moan and wrapped his arms around the man pulling him closer. Jean trailed his hand down the boy's chest before starting on his pants; he slid them off with ease so they were now pooled at Ed's ankles. Ed grabbed at Jeans pants and yanked them down as well. Jean laughed when he saw Ed's tongue between his lips; he did that when he was concentrating.

Ed grabbed Jean's hand and started sucking on his fingers while the man dropped down and took the boy in his mouth, he moaned around the fingers and his hips twitched in anticipation. After a few more sucks Ed grabbed Jean's hair and yanked on it, Jean took his mouth from around the boy's member and then put his thoroughly saliva coated fingers by the boy's entrance.

"If he ever finds out about this…" Jean said leaning in to kiss Ed and slid in a finger Ed moaned but finished the statement.

"We are soo…_fired_," he gasped when the digit touched his prostate and he bucked. Jean leaned in closer and smirked.

"Literally," he said before he crashed his lips to Ed's and put in another finger. Ed gasped and writhed. He scissored his fingers to help stretch the hole further then added another finger after a few more gasps from Ed he removed his fingers and put himself at his entrance Ed grabbed onto him with his legs and pulled him forward seating himself inside the younger blond. Ed flinched and Jean frowned at him.

"You're always so impatient," he said and Ed grinned then moved his hips, Jean started thrusting slowly, trying to aggravate the younger one more than anything. It was working to say the least.

"Fuck…Jean…Faster! Please!" he panted and Jean smirked before picking up the pace. Leaning over the blond to brush kisses over his shoulders and neck before he felt Ed clench around him he gave a moan and they both came relishing in the pleasure. It took them a little to reorient themselves pull their uniforms back on and Ed to clean up the mess, but they did and came out of the office smirking at one another. This was the life.

Roy: you called me Roy-Toy...*glare*

Author-san: indeed I did.

Roy: Why, exactly?

Author-san: I thought that was fairly obvious. You ARE my toy. I play with you all the time.

Roy:...Goddamn you woman!

Author-san: I thought you didn't believe in God?

Roy: *head explodes*

Ed: Ew...Colonel bits everywhere...

see you all next time! 3 Review! 3


	13. Chapter 13

Here you go...the next installment of my spontaneous writing spree. Review please.

You Can't

(But it will)

Roy Mustang was a fairly open minded man, he could handle anything. He'd seen a lot, heard a lot, done a lot. But on that Wednesday morning what he heard in the supply closet had him very confused. What sounded like a scuffle at first quickly changed to the sounds of moans, whispers and chuckles. Roy just thought it was two incredibly horny officers; it wouldn't be the first time this had happened. But what shocked him was when he found out who it was.

"Jean…" someone mewled and Roy raised an eyebrow, Jean as in Havoc? Roy couldn't suppress a smirk, bout time the man got some. "Now. Or I'll hurt you," said the voice again and Roy's mouth moved from a smirk to a frown, that voice sounded familiar.

"Oooh that sounds kinky…" Jean said and Roy had to smack a hand to his forehead, only Jean would say that during sex. There were a few more moans and gasps and then:

"Nng! Hell! Oh god Ed!" Jean gasped and Mustang's eyes widened in disbelief, he didn't know whether to be disgusted or impressed. Roy backed away quietly and quickly from the supply closet and made it back to his office faster than ever in the history of Amestris. He sat in his office, the door closed, completely blown away. Jean and Ed? Ed and Jean? The supply closet? How was that possible? Roy knew Jean loved women, well Jean loved a certain anatomical part that belonged to women, they'd had discussions on the subject, so how did he end up with Ed?

When the break was over Roy opened his office door and watched the two for any suspicious activity. Unfortunately for him they seemed to act normally, except when Jean said something about the dirty dishes that needed to be cleaned at home, Ed glanced at him and his face went beet red. Roy narrowed his eyes. What was this? He continued watching them for the rest of the day.

"Yo Havoc...can we go now? I'm hungry," Ed said when the day was good and done; Jean looked at the clock then went back to his paperwork.

"Ed you're always hungry, and we'll go in ten minutes. We have to stop by the store, didn't Al say we needed some flour?" Jean asked while looking over some documents.

"Yeah and some vanilla," Ed said as he stood and went over to the couch and plopped down on it.

Roy was trying to hide his face, he'd forgotten they lived together. Damn they must do much more than supply closet sex! Roy shook his head there was imagery he did not need. Roy watched as Jean finished up his own paper work and gestured to Ed as he walked out of the room, Ed followed with a smile on his face.

Roy couldn't believe it…they were together, and now that he thought about it, Jean had been really depressed when Ed had disappeared. Had this been why? Because they'd been together? Roy felt a stab of sympathy for Jean the man hadn't known anything about Ed and Roy could tell he'd been extremely worried about him. Ed must have left without telling him. Roy frowned, well that was nice.

Roy grumbled, what was this? He was fairly sure that their relationship was consensual, it certainly looked that way. But it would still be bad if a superior officer found out, other than him that was. Almost everyone in the military knew of Ed and Roy knew he was their favorite boy no one would look kindly to him being with Jean, and Jean would most likely get thrown in jail it didn't matter that Ed was practically an adult. And Ed would probably have to get tested to see if he was mentally stable. Roy didn't want to lose two of his subordinates because of something so trivial.

Roy ran a hand through his hair, he was going to have to separate them until Ed was older, he didn't want to but the chances that they were going to be found out were too high for him not to. Maybe he could talk to Jean about it. He would tomorrow.

Sometimes Roy really hated his job.

Ed and Jean came into the office laughing, Jean was really trying not to but he was. Ed was alight with it, he was clutching his side and collapsing against the older man. They paused for a moment looked at each other then started cracking up again.

"What is it? What's so funny?" Breda asked obviously wanting in on the laughter, Jean recovered first.

"Oh...well Al is back from Risembool...and well he's..." he looked at Ed whose cheeks puffed out as he tried not to laugh.

"What?" Breda egged.

"He's...limping," Ed said, and Breda blinked then looked a little lost.

"Did he trip or something?" he asked and Ed started laughing again.

"Not quite...let's just say...Winry is rougher than one could imagine," Jean said and the rest of the office sat in silence while the other two started laughing again. Breda started first and the rest of the office broke out into hysterics.

"Wait I thought Alphonse came back yesterday?" Hawkeye asked, obviously the only one capable of considering Al's feelings.

"Yeah...but we couldn't very well laugh in his face," Jean said, "We're more considerate than that," he said waving his hand at the whole concept.

"Yeah we had to wait till we got to work, it was Hell!" Ed said and then he and Jean looked at each other and started laughing again.

"We also couldn't make eye contact or else we _knew_ we would have laughed," Jean said after they had stopped and sat at their desks.

"Oh man this is going to be horrible...I won't be able to have a straight face until his limp goes away...Oh my poor baby brother," Ed said and smiled in amusement as he started his paperwork.

"Oh my poor cheeks," Jean said and Ed snorted and tossed a pen in his direction Jean grinned and tossed it back.

"Havoc can I talk to you?" Roy said from inside the office Jean raised an eyebrow.

"Sure thing Chief," he replied and stood up then went in to the private office.

"Close the door please," Roy said quietly and Jean closed it seeing Ed's raised eyebrow as he did so.

"What's wrong, Roy?" Jean asked after he saw the look on the man's face, he didn't look like he wanted to tell Jean what he was going to.

"Jean, tell me the truth," Roy said staring at the taller man's blue eyes. "Are you and Fullmetal sleeping together?"


	14. Chapter 14

Because sailorbaka demanded it. and he cries again...though i would too...actually i did a little while writing it. so I'm sorry. please enjoy. hmm now i sound all...indifferent. harsh.

You Can't

(Deny it...please)

"Excuse me Sir? Did you just ask-" Jean started acting like it was a joke but internally his heart was dropping.

"I told you to tell me the truth," Roy said his eyes hardening at the man he had known for years, he hated this.

"I don't know what you're talking about sir," Jean said and Roy could see he was closing up. He was afraid. Roy narrowed his eyes.

"Don't lie to me Jean, I heard you in the supply closet," He said and the blond man stiffened, Roy saw him swallow.

"Sir...I..." and Roy held up a hand.

"I really don't care Jean, but you need to end it. Now. If anyone finds out, you could both be sent away, I don't want that. I know Ed is eighteen he is capable of making his own choices but the higher ups and most of the military still are homophobic, they would want you punished. So end it, and Ed will need to get his own place," Jean's jaws were clenching and his teeth were grinding.

"Excuse me Sir, but perhaps you should suggest that to him, I can't do anything about it, he will refuse, you know how stubborn he is," Jean said evenly, and Roy sighed he put his face in his hands then rubbed his face and looked back at Jean whose face was even. Roy took a breath then went over to the door he opened it.

"Fullmetal!" he said shortly and went back to his desk Ed came in looking confused but a little shifty.

"You wanted to talk, Bastard?" Ed asked in his usual manner, the door was closed and Roy exhaled. He should just get this over with.

"Edward are you and Jean sleeping together?" he asked out right and Ed blinked a few times then looked over at Jean and grinned, the one that said he knew he was screwed but he was going to try any way.

"What are you talking about of course no-" he was cut off by Roy again.

"Don't even try! I heard you! God dammit! Were either of you even_ trying_ to hide it? Do you _want_ to get thrown in prison?" he yelled in exasperation. Ed frowned and his eyes darkened.

"I thought we did a good job, we have been together for three years," Ed said and Roy looked on in surprise then he calculated in his head and couldn't stop himself from feeling a little disgusted. They had been together since Ed was fifteen? Ed seemed to notice this and glared at the dark haired man.

"Don't you go judging you man whore, I started it," he said and Roy hide the look though he really couldn't stop the feeling. and wait _Ed_ had started it? why didn't that really surprise him?

"That doesn't matter, if you were to be found out now..." Roy dragged a hand down his face, "If you won't split...then you leave me with no choice." He stood from the desk and handed Ed a slip of paper, Ed raised an eyebrow at him then looked down and read it. His face changed first to horror then to anger and then finally grim understanding.

"I see," he said then he held out his hand for a pen. Roy gave it to him and he looked grim as well, Jean looked between the two as Ed started signing the paper, he looked more intently at Ed, but the boy's back was too him and he couldn't see his face.

"What are you doing? Ed?" he asked and Ed looked at him and Jean almost gasped. Ed looked absolutely heart broken. Jean snatched the paper from his hand and read it.

"No...no...You can't!" he shouted and grabbed Ed's shoulders the paper floated to the ground and Ed saw the terror in his lover's eyes.

"Jean..." he began but the older blond shook his head.

"No! You can't leave me again!" he cried and Ed wrapped his hands around the man's back, and to Roy's bitter astonishment he saw that Jean was crying. Roy hadn't wanted this, he'd only thought the two were...but it looked like they really cared about each other. Well that didn't help the situation much; it just helped Roy's understanding of it.

"Jean..." Ed murmured and led the man to the couch he made him sit and looked him in the eye as he caressed his cheeks catching tears on his thumbs. "I don't want you to be taken from me, because of me, I know it's selfish, but if all I have to do to keep you is to stay away from you for two years, I will." he said and Roy saw his closest subordinate close his eyes in pain. And he reached out and brought Ed closer to himself. Clinging to him desperately. Roy hated he had to be the cause of this. Ed pulled back slightly and cupped the man's cheeks then he placed their lips together. He could tell now, that they loved each other. It almost hurt him to have to split them apart, but he didn't want to have two of his subordinates taken away because of close minded fools.

"I don't think _I_ can Ed," Jean whispered against the shorter blond's lips, Ed caressed his face again. "I love you...I never want to lose you again..." he said so quietly Roy almost didn't hear, though he pretended he didn't.

"I know...I love you...I love you more than I can tell you...but I don't want you taken away from me," Ed said and Roy saw a few tears trail down his own cheeks.

"It's only for two years…it'll fly by," Ed tried and Jean just closed his eyes and tried not to whimper.

"I can't…" he whispered his voice full of the pain he was experiencing and Ed kissed him again, running his gloved hands over Jean's face kissing his lips and eyelids, cheeks and forehead.

"But you will, you know...they say absence makes the heart grow fonder," Ed mumbled and Jean couldn't help but let a small smile peek through then he gave a snort.

"Yes and those people are all dead," he said and Ed frowned then glared at his lover.

"You're always so pessimistic," he frowned playfully, Roy could tell he was trying to cheer him up, it was working...almost. Roy sighed and decided to give them some time alone.

He really hated his job.

Ed watched as Roy walked out of the office and closed the door behind him, Ed smirked, hoping they'd made the bastard feel uncomfortable. Ed sat next to the older man who was a little less emotional, and a little embarrassed after remembering his superior officer was in the room while he'd been crying. Ed took his hands and kissed them.

"Jean…I know how you feel…but if me leaving for only two years means we can be together for as long as we want after that, I'll do it…please let me, I love you and I don't want to lose you," Ed whispered against the man's knuckles.

"I don't ever want to lose you again though either…that year…you were gone from me…it was…hell. _Hell_ Ed…I don't want to feel like that again if I can prevent it," he replied, his head bowed looking at the hands in the pair of gloved ones. One hand moved up to his face and Ed leaned over to kiss him.

"I will love you as long as I live, never forget that. But I'm going…I know you can make it, because I don't have time for selfish brats," he said and Jean looked up at him in slight shock. Then he snorted.

"Only you would be able to use that against me," he said with a humorless laugh. Then he wrapped his arms around the young man and held on tight.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," Ed whispered back and then tipped his head and brought Jeans mouth onto his, and started kissing him slowly, but it was urgent and needy all the same.

Jean kissed back fervently, he was crying again he knew, but he didn't care, so what if he wasn't being a 'man', he didn't care. It hurt, it hurt so much, nothing had ever hurt this much, not even when Ed left the first time. It hurt because he knew they could have handled the situation better. This might not have happened if they'd been more careful, Jean could have done something to make it better. But it didn't matter now, it was too late, Ed was leaving and Jean couldn't do anything about it. He hoped to god that by the time Ed returned he wouldn't be broken.

Ed moved Jean down so he was straddling him on the couch his tongue in the older man's mouth as his hands moved down the uniform. Jean's arms came up to encircle the smaller blond their mouths locked and then the door opened.

"Aaarhg!" Roy Mustang had to cover his eyes and slammed the door shut behind himself he waited a moment, "Are you done?" he asked and Ed looked at Jean who couldn't suppress a grin. Ed grinned in return then put his fingers in his mouth; Jean had to stop himself from laughing.

"Yeah Chief we're done," he said and Roy moved his hand away from one eye and saw Ed on top of the older man still only looking very ready for whatever followed, his fingers in his mouth his tongue lazily coating them in saliva his eyes hazy, he gave another yelp and turned around his head and fists against the door.

"Fullmetal!" he shouted, his voice almost a squeak and Ed started laughing, Jean smiled and then pulled him down for a quick kiss before starting to sit up, Ed got off of him and sat next to him still laughing. Roy turned around tentatively and saw them no longer in a provocative position. He sighed in relief.

"Sorry bastard…just a little revenge," Ed said and Roy groaned before walking past them to sit at his desk taking Ed's transfer papers from the floor along the way.

"Yeah, yeah…next time can't it be something like a water bucket over my head?" he asked, Jean and Ed looked at each other then back at him.

"No." they both replied and Roy groaned again. Then he sighed and looked at them seriously, "You know I am sorry about this…it's not that I don't want you two to be…together," he tried to wrap his mind around that and decided he didn't really want to think about it too much, "It's just if you were found out while Ed was still considered a minor, it could cause repercussions I don't want to put you through. When Ed returns he'll be twenty…you should be…better then, you should still be discreet though," he gave them a hard look and they looked away both trying not to blush. "But please understand I'm not doing this because I think it's wrong…no matter how awkward it is, I just don't want either of you gone, got it?" he asked and they both nodded.

"We don't really blame you Chief, it's just…hard to cope with," Jean said and Ed grabbed his hand.

"As much as you are a bastard I don't think you're an idiot…most of the time…and I get what you're trying to do," Ed said and Roy nodded.

"Your train leaves in two days Edward," Roy said quietly, "You both may get ready for it in that time," he said and Ed nodded sadly.

"I am sorry," Roy said quietly after a long pause.

"We know," Ed said softly and Jean leaned against him closing his eyes and trying not to start crying again, now he felt a little foolish because of earlier, but he didn't know how else he could have expressed his pain. He was losing the one he loved. And again he had no control over it.


	15. Chapter 15

Angst much? yeah i feel like this one is full of it...to the brim...but what can i say? I like angst. makes things more interesting. okay so there's a little bit of humor...but it's hard to tell if you take everything too seriously. no smut. I'm sorry.

You Can't

(The Worst beginning to a week)

The day Ed left Jean felt his world fall apart, his blond lover had a smile on his face but it was so forced it looked painful. Ed made Al stay behind telling him he was insurance. And Al agreed with a small sad smile on his kind face. Al had grabbed Jean's hand in reassurance, Jean squeezed it in thanks and then Ed was gone.

After two days of them both staying in bed holding each other or talking or loving each other, it was a very bittersweet parting since they couldn't even kiss goodbye.

Even though Jean felt like crawling under a rock Roy forced him to go to work the next day telling him he wasn't going to let him become a recluse. Jean would have been grateful had he not felt so bitter towards the man at the time. To Jean everything felt like it had lost its light. He just didn't want to deal with anything anymore, he just wanted Ed back.

"Jean stop being so melodramatic, he's not dead, he's just gone," Roy said after a week of Ed's absence, Jean was like a walking gloom cloud and Roy was getting irritated.

"He's as good as," Jean mumbled in response, not lifting his head from his paperwork as he dutifully looked them over. The others looked up in curiosity, they took Ed's transfer as Ed just wanting to get out a little, but they didn't know how to take Jean's mood.

Roy growled and stomped over to the phone closest to the living pool of misery; he yanked it from the cradle and dialed in the number.

"Yes this is Major-General Roy Mustang, I want to speak with the Fullmetal Alchemist, Lieutenant-Colonel Edward Elric," he paused for a moment then listened to Ed as he replied, "Don't start Fullmetal, I just want you to tell your boyfriend to stop being such a wallowing cesspool of misery and self loathing!" he said and there was a pause.

"No, I'm sure it'll be fine considering there are others in the room besides myself and the doom cloud," he said and smirked a little but then frowned at Ed's response.

"It is not! Oh just talk to him!" he yelled a little out of breath he glared at the receiver then turned to the blond man.

"Jean get your ass over here!" he yelled and Jean frowned at him stood up and snatched the receiver from the man's outstretched hand.

"I am _not_ a wallowing cesspool of misery and self loathing," he said in the most snappish manner he could manage but it sounded more like whining.

"Could have fooled me," Roy muttered then went to sit on Jean's desk. Jean glared at him then looked down at the phone and pressed it to his ear.

"Hello?" he said into it and heard his own voice echo for a moment before another voice countered it.

"_Jean_," Ed said and Jean was so happy to hear his voice he smiled a little even though Ed's voice sounded like he was scolding.

"How're things?" he asked, and felt eyes on his back but ignored them.

"_Cold, and boring…and lonely_," he muttered at the end but then snorted, "_I'm in a new place entirely and you're the one who's acting like a lost lamb_," he said and Jean frowned but felt more like he was pouting.

"You could have brought Al with you," Jean said and he heard Ed snort again.

"_No I couldn't have, Al is super sensitive to the cold he would have died, I'm glad he stayed, and it seems like a good thing, he's there to look after you_," he said and Jean felt himself pout some more.

"I do not need a seventeen year old looking out for me," he said a little offended and Ed laughed.

"_From what I hear you need the bastard to look after you, and that's bad, so a seventeen year old mother hen is a step up_," he snickered and Jean grew red in the face.

"That-! He is not! He's just-…" he trailed off and Ed laughed some more, he loved hearing him laugh; he let a small smile lift his lips for a moment.

"_Jean don't be like this, I know you'll be fine you were okay for that one year, and this time you'll be able to talk to me, so try to be a little happier okay?_" Ed said softly and Jean felt a little bad, so maybe wallowing in his misery wasn't going to solve anything, it just made him feel better about it.

"Fine…I'll try to be better, but you owe me when you get back!" he finally said after a very long pause. He heard Ed's small laugh and knew he was smiling.

"_I'm looking forward to it_," Ed said and Jean smirked then heard Ed get talked to by someone over there.

"_Hey Jean I gotta go, but we can talk later I'll have the bastard set something up. Take care and don't make the bastard have to call me again_," he said in a scolding voice.

"Okay, okay…you take care too Ed…I love you," he said quietly into the receiver.

"_I love you too Jean, talk to you later_," he said and then the dial tone sounded after he hung up. He held the phone for a moment longer then hung it up. He turned around to go back to his desk and froze. Everyone, except the Major-General who was humming under his breath and looking over some papers, was staring at him. He took a step back.

"W-what?" he nearly squeaked. And Hawkeye was the first to compose herself.

"Um how is Edward…?" she asked and Jean's face went red, they'd heard the whole thing. He backed up against the wall.

"Uh…f-fine, he…misses…us…" he said weakly and Breda popped out of his shock.

"Sounds like he's not the only one," he said and Jean, if possible, grew redder, "So…Havoc what-?" he started but was interrupted.

"Okay back to work," Roy said and Jean was thankful, a little.

"I agree with Ed sir, you _are_ a Bastard!" he said pointing a finger and Roy smiled then waltzed into his office and closed the door. He stared at the door in disbelief the man had left him alone, now he was at the mercy of their questions. Well they were going to find out sooner or later. He just really didn't want to tell them!

_8 months and one year before Edwards return_

"Wait so you guys have been together for how long?" Breda asked, he seemed to be the only one asking questions the others only listening.

"Um…about three years…" Jean said he felt cornered in his seat, the others all just staring at him.

"Three…? But Havoc…three years ago…he was fifteen…" Fuery said quietly and Jean flinched, the others looked shocked.

"Fifteen…? My god Jean what were you thinking?" Breda asked and Jean sat up straighter and glared at his red haired friend.

"I'll tell you what I was thinking, I was thinking 'oh my god I've been had by a fifteen year old!' You know how stubborn he is! I said no until my tongue was numb!" he said defensively. And Breda looked a little shocked. For the past four months they'd been trying to get Jean to tell them what was going on, they only got bits and pieces of it because the man was highly embarrassed.

"God dammit! The boy cornered me in the bathroom and tried to make out with me! It was traumatizing!" Jean exclaimed. And Breda and the others sat back in their chairs, they hadn't heard Jean get this animated in a while.

"If you kept saying no, then why are you together now?" Falman asked always the thinker. Jean sighed and slumped in his chair again.

"After…how long was it two-three weeks of his pestering…I guess I broke…he said some bullshit about meeting new people and having new types of relationships…I don't know I just broke…" he mumbled. Then he frowned.

"Though…the whole time I was having moral dilemmas…Hell I'm still having moral dilemmas," He mumbled and groaned. This was way too personal for his liking, but he supposed he'd have to live with it if he wanted his friends to understand.

"I think that you and Ed being together is really sweet sir, don't listen to them," Fury said after a moment, Jean looked up at him and gave a small smile to the short man.

"Thanks Fury, though I still feel like a cradle-robber," he muttered darkly. The others all choked and Jean ignored them seeing as Roy came out of his office with a sigh, he looked at his blond Captain.

"Havoc if it's bothering you so much talk to Ed about it," taking on the role of couple councilor. Jean sighed.

"I have," he muttered and Roy raised an eyebrow.

"What did he say?" Roy asked a little more curious than he let on.

"That I was an idiot, 'age doesn't matter, what matters is that we love each other and have decided to show one another. Together.' Honestly the kid's a philosopher! He spouts that nonsense every single time I try…" he mumbled running his hand through his hair furiously. "Sometimes I think he reads books about this shit!" he growled and Roy chuckled.

"It wouldn't surprise me, but you know Ed has an uncanny ability to say the right thing at the right time that makes people just bend," Roy said and Jean looked at him with eyes alight with hope.

"So I'm not a freak?" he asked his voice laced with it, Roy laughed.

"No…but you're still a cradle-robber," he said and turned around.

"Roooy!" Jean cried and Roy just laughed as he made his way back into his office.

_6 months and one year till Edward's return_

"No, no…he's just pouting," a pause, "Well no, he's upset at everyone actually," a chuckle, "No, it's because we all keep teasing him, well my favorite is 'Captain Cradle-robber'…" laughter, "What? I didn't come up with it! It was all Breda!" frowning, "No, that would be me, but it's mostly Breda…" glare at fore spoken "Oh no _that_ is ALL Breda, if he learned how to shut his mouth Havoc would be crying to you instead of just pouting,"

"FOR THE LAST TIME I'M NOT POUTING!" Jean yelled, his face red, he was totally flustered, Breda was tied up and gagged for good reason and Roy was on the phone with Ed. Roy looked over at the blond man who was sitting on his desk glaring at the red head and brunette and the phone. Roy listened for a moment.

"Yeah that was him…oh no you've rubbed off on him more than he'd like to admit, I've never seen him get that red in the face before," and then he pulled the phone from his ear and some screaming came out, Jean flushed harder. He really was acting like Ed; but Breda did not have to make that rubbing comment. And then Roy had to go and...uh!

"Yeah, yeah" Roy said almost tiredly then he gave Jean a look and gestured for him to come over to the phone, the blond man did but pouted the whole way.

"Talk to him," Roy hissed as he handed him the phone, Jean scowled.

"Hello," he grumbled and he flinched he could just feel the glare his lover was sending him via mind powers.

"_Jean…why are you acting like me_?" Ed asked a little grumpy at the prospect.

"Blame Breda! It's his fault! He said rubbing!" he yelled and he heard Ed on the other line caught between several reactions ranging from getting angry, getting embarrassed and laughing his ass off.

"_Okay…and why wouldn't you talk to me in the first place_?" he asked and Jean pouted and mumbled a few things, Ed gave an exasperated sigh.

"_Jean!_" he said and the man frowned more.

"Because it's your fault too! If you hadn't been attracted to me in the first place I wouldn't be suffering from-" he let out and then he stopped himself and blushed. But Ed knew what he was going to say.

"_Oh so you're suffering, I see. Though you know Jean if you weren't so attractive I wouldn't have gone after you in the first place_," Ed said and Jean had to roll his eyes.

"For god's sake Ed…" Jean mumbled and his head bounced off the wall a few times. Ed was laughing on the other line as he heard the thumps.

"_You know I love you, now let me talk to Breda_," he said and suddenly Jean felt very, very scared for the red head, but that made him feel better all around.

"Okay…I have to untie him first though," and he was smiling at the red head whose eyes were wide in fear. He smiled wider then had a thought he ungagged the man but didn't untie him and just set the phone by his ear.

"Okay here he is!" he said loudly, and Breda whimpered like a kicked puppy. They could hear Ed yelling for quite a while and by the end Breda was white and his eyes were wider than dinner plates. Jean took the phone back.

"You enjoyed that didn't you?" he asked and Ed chuckled.

"_A little bit_," he said and Jean smiled. He missed the boy so much it was painful, but at least he could talk to him.

"I love you," Jean said.

"_I know_," Ed replied and Jean rolled his eyes as he hung up. This wasn't as bad as he thought, at least Breda would be as scared of Ed as he was of Black Hayate when he returned. Jean grinned; things were better but still not perfect. Yet.

_3 months and one year before Edward's return_

"So is Ed any good in bed?" Breda asked with a mocking grin, and Jean looked up from his paper work.

"And why would I tell you that?" he replied and Breda shrugged.

"Because," Breda said and smiled, Jean stared at him for a moment then rolled his eyes and snorted.

"'Because', _that's_ why I'd tell you? Are you an idiot or just so bad in bed you need tips and this is the most clever way you can think of to ask?" Jean replied and heard the snickers from the others.

"I do not need tips from a guy who hasn't had any for the past nine months," Breda snapped and Jean scowled and threw a pen cap at him.

"Well it's not like that's my fault and besides I've probably still had more than you anyway," Jean smirked. And Breda raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Wait…you're cheating-" a letter opener narrowly missed his eye and he saw Jean scowl as he stood up and snatched up some files.

"I'm not as low as you, asshole, and to answer your first question, Ed's not good in bed, he's _great_ everywhere, let's see if you can figure it out," he said then stomped out of the room to deliver the papers.

"Wait…is he saying they did it…Oh god!" and he leapt from his desk and tried to make himself only fit on his chair. The others realized then too and they all froze. They'd done it everywhere? What did that mean? They all looked at each other in fear. Maybe they didn't need to ask Jean so many questions.

When Jean walked back into the room he was extremely satisfied to see everyone uncomfortable. He sat at his desk with a small smile on his face, after Jean was about to deliver some more papers a white Major-General came out of his office.

"Um…Jean…you didn't…in…my office…did you?" he asked truly dreading the answer. Jean stopped at the door and smiled then walked out. Roy Mustang's heart stopped and he didn't move for at least a half an hour. The rest of the day Jean had a smile on his face.

"You know Riza, you should treat him tonight…looks like he needs it," Jean said to the only other person left in the room, he gestured to the traumatized man who was carefully trying to do his paperwork without touching anything. Riza looked at him in surprise.

"What do you mean?" she asked and he saw the pink tinge to her cheeks. He grinned.

"After doing it for three years you really think I wouldn't recognize all those little smiles and glimpses you two throw at each other?" her asked and her face burned.

"Uh we- it's not!" she tried and Jean just smiled bigger, he pushed her into the office and stuck his head in after seeing Riza looking flustered for the first time in his life.

"Oh and sir…you should know, Alchemy has many uses, not just blowing shit up," he said and Roy was staring at him wide eyed, then Jean was gone.

"What?" he muttered and Riza cleared her throat, he looked at her and he smiled at the sight of her.

"I think Jean meant…that every time they-…Ed cleaned up with alchemy so there wouldn't be any residue…" she said quietly her face bright red and Roy thought about it a moment.

"Quiet right Captain, but right now I think my office needs to be worn in by the owner," he smirked and she sputtered as he stood and walked over to her.

"Sir! But-" and he covered her mouth with his, she melted. He was right the office did need to be worn in.


	16. Chapter 16

these memories aren't as happy as the last ones...just saying. though...a little angst never hurt anyone...what the hell am i saying? *facepalm* we all know THAT'S a lie. psh...alright whateves ...read now.

You Can't

(Memories)

_One year before Edward returns_

Jean hated his bed, it was cold and too big, he glared at it. It didn't matter that it was a queen and that the sheets were fleece and the comforter was down or that there were four pillows. He hated it. It was so…so _lonely_.

Without Ed in his arms at night he felt worse than the year he'd been gone before because he hadn't known what he was missing. The warm breath fanning over his chest, the long blond hair tickling his nose, arms wrapped around his waist and legs entwined with his own, watching as Ed's chest rose and fell as he breathed, letting his eyes skim the planes of Ed's chest and neck, stomach and arms. That he missed the most. Being able to watch Ed sleep, his face so relaxed and peaceful. And then when he woke up his golden eyes bleary as he looked around then falling on Jean's face and his whole face breaking out into a smile. It was breathtaking. And Jean got that every morning. Well he had. But now he woke up alone, the only thing in his arms a stray pillow or the cat Jean had given Al for his birthday.

Jean knew that he would miss his lover; he knew he would miss everything about him, his smile, his laugh, his hair and eyes, the way his emotions played across his face, his feelings, his words, his light, his energy, his _everything_. To Jean, Ed was his everything, and without him he was lost.

The year with out him so far had been terrible. Without Al or the Major-General he knew he would have lost himself completely. So for that he was grateful, but he still had another year that he had to wait. Another year with out Ed. Another year with an empty bed.

Another year of loneliness.

_11 months before Ed's return_

"Jean I brought you lemon chicken today," Al said cheerfully as he pranced into the office and dropped a lunch box on the blond's desk, his hand in the middle of rising. He stared at the lunch then at Al and rolled his eyes.

"You're going to make a man very happy someday," he muttered and Al frowned and glared playfully at the man who set the lunch box aside and continued working.

"You know Winry would probably kill you for that, and I can't help the fact that you're a terrible cook," he said his hands on his hips as he nodded, agreeing with himself.

"I won't argue with that, but you're acting like a little housewife…it's really weird," Jean said noncommittally. Al frowned.

"How so?" he asked and turned at the snicker from Breda who was looking at him almost gleefully.

"You pranced in here spouting about chicken Al," he said and Al frowned.

"I did not prance," he said crossing his arms and Breda laughed again.

"You pranced, Alphonse, like a happy little rain deer," Jean said still looking down at his finished report. And Al scowled at him.

"How come you aren't eating…again?" he snapped and Jean flinched, Al's eyes narrowed and Roy came out of his office to watch.

"I'm not hungry, is that so hard to believe?" he said and Al's eyes narrowed further. He pushed the lunch under the man's nose. And Jean gave him a look.

"If you don't want it Jean I'll take it, I love home cooked meals," Roy said grinning and Al shook his head, Roy raised an eyebrow.

"He needs to eat, he hasn't had a proper meal in three days," Al said, and he didn't seem all that flustered, and Roy figured that growing up with someone like Ed made Jean's actions seem trivial at best, but he still needed to eat.

"Al I'm not a child and I don't need one to take care of me," Jean snapped and stood up he grabbed some of the files from his desk and stomped out of the office. Al sighed.

"Honestly he's just as bad as Ed," he muttered leaning against the desk and shook his head. "They're both so stubborn, though I don't think he realizes he's doing it, I think Ed does it on purpose," Al mumbled and Roy laughed.

"That wouldn't surprise me, but why isn't Jean eating?" he asked seriously, it was a part of his job to care for his subordinates and make sure they didn't die.

"I'm not sure…but it probably has to do with his depression, he was doing fine until a little while ago…I'm not sure what happened," Al muttered, trying to think back on what could have caused it. "He probably saw something that reminded him of Ed, it's happened before, for the first four weeks he slept on the couch. I think sleeping alone was too painful so he slept in the room closer to mine," he said and Roy raised an eyebrow the poor man was losing it.

"Since when did Jean's single room apartment have another room?" he asked catching the casual mention of the addition, and Al grinned nervously.

"Since Ed alchemized it that way…" he said nervously Roy made a face then rolled his eyes, he sighed and then sat down in Jean's abandoned chair.

"Besides letting some one illegally change his apartment, what else has he done?" Roy asked in concern.

"Well there are some things he just won't look at, like a chair in the kitchen…and a few pictures in the hall and it's weird none of them have Ed in them, and in the bathroom he's as fast as possible in the morning, I think everything has a connection to Ed for him, it probably hurts for him to be in this room too," Al said and he shook his head in sympathy.

"It's terrible, I mean I miss brother a lot, I haven't been separated from him for very long before, but Jean _has_ gone through it before, I don't know how he managed the year we got my body back," Al mumbled. "He must have been so lonely...and heart broken," he said in a bare whisper. Roy watched the boy for a moment before letting out a small sigh.

"I don't know what we could do to help," Roy said putting his chin in his hand and his elbow on the desk.

"The only thing he wants is Ed back, so...we can't do anything but wait until his return," Al said sternly to the man who frowned, and pouted a little because he was getting lectured by an eighteen year old.

"Yeah, yeah, I just can't help but feel sorry for him, Jean is a good friend I hate to see him hurting," Roy said running a hand through his hair.

"All we can do for him is make sure he doesn't die and doesn't slip further into depression, he is strong, but right now I bet he is feeling very weak," Hawkeye said her voice caring as she continued to work on paperwork. "And it might help if he is reminded less that Ed is gone," she said and gave Breda and Roy stern looks.

"Yes Ma'am," they chorused immediately. She nodded and continued working. Roy sighed.

"I hope the year goes by quickly…for Jean's sake," he muttered, and then went back into his office to finish his own work.

No one was aware of the blond at the door hiding as he listened to his colleagues talk about him he appreciated they worried about him, but he knew there really wasn't anything any of them could do for him. And he felt sorry for Roy and his wish because for Jean everyday without Ed was an eternity.

_7 months until Edward's return_

"No Ed he's fine just sick, he has a fever, it's just a cold," Roy reassured Ed over the phone, Ed was now worried about his lover he hadn't been to work in the past couple of days.

"_Are you sure? Have you taken him to the doctors?_" he asked trying not to bite his fingers, the automail would ruin his teeth.

"It's a cold Fullmetal, nothing more, and I don't want to hear that from you Mr. run-away-at-the-mere-mention-of-a-needle," he said trying to distract Ed from his worry.

"_I do not!_" he screeched, Roy chuckled. Ed growled at him then took a deep breath to calm himself, "_Is there any way for me to be able to talk to him?_" he asked and Roy sighed he knew this was going to happen.

"Yeah I'll connect you to his home phone, but don't talk too long Fullmetal, you still have work to do," Roy said and he could feel Ed's scowl.

"_Shut up you hypocrite! I wouldn't talk if I was you Major-General Slacker!_" he huffed Roy rolled his eyes but pressed Ed through to Jean's apartment phone.

Alphonse picked it up on the first ring, "Hey brother," he answered. Ed frowned.

"_How do you always do that?_" he asked in bewilderment, Al shrugged to himself as he let himself smirk a little.

"I just have a sixth sense when it concerns you Brother," he said and Ed rolled his eyes and snorted.

"_Riiight…so-_" he started but Al interrupted him.

"He just went to sleep and I don't want to wake him up, he hasn't slept much at all, so he could use some even if it is fever induced," Al said and Ed frowned.

"_He's going to be okay though…right?_" Ed asked quietly.

"Yes Brother he'll be fine, it's just a cold," Al replied gently and Ed let himself breath out a little in relief, he just couldn't believe Roy with things like this he knew the man would lie if he thought it was in his best interest, but Al wouldn't.

"_He hasn't been sleeping well?_" he asked after a brief pause. Al didn't answer for a while.

"Not since you left," Al said quietly and Ed felt his heart clench.

"_I know how he feels…_" he muttered quietly, and Al made a small sound of sympathy.

"Oh brother…it must be terrible for you…you don't have anyone there…it must be hard to be without him," Al said his heart spilling for his brother, in a way Al understood, he had to leave Winry behind a lot and he didn't like to. But she was just a short train ride away, Ed was much farther from the one he loved than Al was.

"_It isn't so bad…but…at night I miss him…so much…_" Ed mumbled and Al thought his brother was crying, he wanted so much to be able to hug and comfort him, but the fact he was away led to the thought that if he was close enough to hug there wouldn't be a need for it.

"He cries out for you when he does sleep…and when he's awake…he can't really look at anything…everything reminds him of you," Al said, hoping that somehow this would comfort his brother.

"_Like what?_" Ed asked and Al thought he sounded eager, but also a little devastated.

"There's a chair in the kitchen that he pretends isn't there…and the couch…sometimes I see him clutching it and trying…not to cry, and then the pictures on the wall…" Al spit out and he heard it, the soft sound of his brother's sobs.

"Brother?" he asked quietly. He could hear that Ed had his hand over his mouth to muffle the sound, and he heard the creak of the phone as Ed's Automail gripped it too tight.

"_Oh Al…I just…_" and a sob broke his voice. "_He has to be around…all of those things…I miss him…I miss him so much…but during the day I can distract myself, but he can't…oh god Al…_" and there was a full blown sob, Al heard as his brother slide down the wall, he heard the phone hit the ground. But he didn't hang up he wanted to feel like he could comfort his brother by just _being_ there. If only a little.

Al sat with the phone in his hand and wondered if his brother had cried at all since he left, Al knew Jean had cried, he had seen the heartbroken look on the man's face too many times to count to not know what his brother looked like at the moment. He was missing Jean very much and couldn't do anything to change it. Al felt for his brother and let a tear fall down his cheek for him. He wished he could help but he couldn't. All he could do was stand there with the phone while his brother cried.

Ed remembered what every single significant thing was about, every memory that was attached to all of the things Al had mentioned, and it gripped at his heart. Jean had to look at them everyday and remember. The pictures on the wall Ed had broken one after being slammed into it and then another picture had to move to cover up the mark Ed's automail had made after he'd scrapped the wallpaper. The chair in the kitchen was where they had decided to take it to the next step; the couch had been where their first _real_ kiss had been. And then Ed remembered the couch had also been where'd they'd said 'I love you' to each other for the first time.

Another sob broke free from his lips, he tried to muffle the sound with his gloved hand but it didn't help much, and considering he was crouched down next to the wall the phone still in his hand but it was lying on the floor in defeat, he'd held off the tears for too long and now it hurt to let himself cry for the one he loved. He felt so guilty, he'd hurt Jean again and he'd never wanted to in the first place but he hadn't stopped it when he could have.

"Oh Jean…I'm so sorry…" he cried out loud, his hand muffling his words. He heard Al on the other line and he quickly put the phone back to his ear.

"_Brother…? Are you okay?_" Al asked softly and Ed wiped his face and stood up, he took a deep breath.

"Yeah Al, I'm okay," he replied. He placed his tear covered hand on the wall and placed his forehead next to it.

"_Well I just heard Jean wake up…do you want to talk to him?_" he asked and he thought he already knew the answer, he just thought he should check.

"I…I…" Ed took another breath this one shaky, "I do…but I don't think I can right now…tell him I love him will you?" Ed asked and Al sighed.

"_I will brother, don't worry he's safe with me_," Al replied trying to sound reassuring. Ed smiled a little.

"I know Al, Thanks…I love you too ya know," he said and Al smiled.

"_I know brother, I love you too, talk to you later_," he said and they both hung up the phones Ed hardened himself, the guys here would make fun of him for crying and tease him about his tears freezing to his face. Which he believed, it was fucking cold!

Al hung up the phone and walked over to the bedroom where Jean was groaning as he reached for a tissue.

"That was Ed…he said he didn't want to wake you," Al went over and gave the man a tissue. "How are you feeling?" he asked and Jean groaned again.

"Like shit," he said through a stuffed nose, Al chuckled and took away an empty soup bowl.

"You sound just like brother," Al chuckled and Jean smiled a little, but it still didn't lift the dark circles under his eyes which weren't from the cold or lack of sleep. "Oh yeah…he also says he loves you and will talk to you later," Al nodded glad he'd delivered his message, then took away the dirty dishes.

"I don't want to talk to him…I want to see him…" Jean whined into his pillow, and Al stopped and looked at the man.

"He feels the exact same way, he wants to make sure you're okay he was so worried when Roy told him you were sick," Al turned around and smiled gently at him, "He really truly loves you…and I'm so happy for that, so please stay strong…for him okay?" Al asked and Jean looked at him, he knew what Al meant and nodded, mumbling something about too intuitive little brothers then drifted back off to sleep.

Al was glad he could take care of one of them but he'd feel less anxious if he could know that they were both okay, Ed was one thing to worry about but both him and Jean was worthy of an ulcer. Al sighed but smiled. In a few more months they would be happy again and Al couldn't wait for that, even though he knew he'd be trying to stay away from the apartment as much as he used to. But that was a pain he could handle.


	17. Chapter 17

um...yeah well here's the last chapter! I hope you enjoy the cheese! *smirk*

You Can't

(Memories to the End)

_3 months until Edward's return _

"What if something happens to his train though Chief?" Jean asked and Roy let his head hit the desk, Jean's attitude had improved greatly it was a blessing really, but now he just wouldn't shut up.

"Jean…passenger trains aren't being targeted, it's only freight trains!" Roy exclaimed in exasperation jumping up and storming into the outer office, so maybe Jean was acting more cheerful but he was also acting like a worried mother.

"Yeah maybe now! But in three months they might change objectives!" Jean said and Roy let his head hit the nearest object which happened to be Riza's shoulder. She turned her head to look at his, she was trying to hide a smirk.

"Sir, your desk would be more effective," she said and he groaned.

"Thank you, Captain," he said sarcastically and she gave a soft chuckle.

"Anytime sir," she smiled and he rolled his eyes before going back to his desk, ignoring the blue eyes that were narrowed at him.

"Sir!" Jean whined and Roy let his head fall with a thud onto his desk.

"Jean...in three months we'll have caught the rebels and Ed will come back same as when he left...now stop acting like a sissy and work!" he said and Jean frowned at him through the door.

"Humph...You first..." he mumbled, he'd debated about whether or not adding 'Bastard' at the end of it, but didn't, knowing the man would hear it unspoken anyway.

"You know Havoc, I'm curious...what's it like...being with another guy?" Breda asked and there was much curiosity in his tone and facial features. Jean paused and sat at his desk.

"Not too different from being with a woman I guess...why?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. Breda shrugged.

"I don't know, I was just curious...well I guess it's more of what's it like being with the Boss, I don't see him as the flowers and jewelry type," Breda said and Jeans eyes widened before he started laughing.

"Flowers...and jewelry?" Jean laughed some more before he composed himself and smirked at the man, "Really Breda? Is that how you get a date? Bribes?" he asked and Breda huffed.

"Forget I asked and that's not what I meant and you know it," he said and Jean grinned smugly.

"Oh I know, but you brought that on yourself, and so you know I don't get Ed anything," he shrugged and grabbed the pen on his desk and got back to work.

"You don't? What do you do on dates?" he asked with a raised eyebrow and Jean looked back up at him with a look on his face that told Breda he wasn't really as smart as everyone thought.

"Dates? Uh let's see...we stay in my apartment and that's about it, and I'm not sharing details," he said sarcastically and Breda flushed.

"Oh...sorry...I forgot," he mumbled and Jean rolled his eyes.

"I noticed." Jean said as he went back to his paperwork. Hawkeye walked over then and set some papers on Jean's desk.

"Research please," she said simply and Jean sighed, but stood up and took the papers to their intended destination.

"Heymans do you really have to ask him about Ed all the time?" Riza asked scoldingly, and Breda cringed slightly.

"I'm sorry, it's just...hard to digest that they're together is all...I guess I want to know so I can understand and not be judgmental," he explained and Riza blinked in surprise.

"It bothers you that much?" she asked and Breda shrugged.

"It doesn't but at the same time it does, I think it's because it's Havoc and Ed, if it was anyone else I might not be able to handle it," he said and Riza blinked.

"I didn't know you were so close minded Breda," Roy said from his office doorway. Breda frowned.

"I am not closed minded!" he whined and Roy grinned and laughed.

"I know I know...it was kind of hard for me to get too...Jean, the chain smoking blond with a crude sense of humor, and Ed the short tempered kid with an anti-authority complex? Hard to comprehend," Roy smiled at the others laughter at his descriptions. But Roy noticed Fury's frown.

"What is it Fury?" he asked and the short man jumped out of his thoughts.

"Oh I was just thinking...Havoc hasn't really smoked in a while has he?" he asked and Roy's eyes widened as he tried to remember the last time the blond had gone to smoke. The last time had been when Ed had gone to the library, the last time he was here, Jean had gone up to the roof.

"All I can remember is from when Ed was here," he mumbled and the others frowned in wonder. Roy crossed his arms in thought.

"I wonder why he stopped," he asked out loud, but it was more to himself than anyone else in the room but someone did answer.

"Because Ed is gone," and they all turned to see the blond man walk through the door, he handed Hawkeye some papers and sat back down. They all looked at each other in guilty silence, before Jean rolled his eyes and sighed.

"It's not a reason I really feel like sharing, so we'll leave it at, I stopped because I don't feel like it anymore," he said but he was looking at Roy, too embarrassed to look at anyone else. Roy nodded and then snapped at everyone else to get back to work

They dropped it for the rest of the day, Breda kept glancing at his blond friend a look of guilt on his face, the others glanced at him too, mostly in concern and curiosity but they didn't bring up Ed again.

Havoc stood up at the end of the day, he, Riza and Roy where the only ones left in the office. Roy stepped out of the inner office with his great coat on, he was getting ready to leave for the day, but he stopped and looked at Jean.

"I'm really curious, why did you stop?" he asked and Jean looked up from the last paper he was frowning at. His mind caught up with his ears and he did the last thing Roy expected, he blushed.

"Um...It's not really that interesting..." Jean said and Riza came up to stand next to Roy, she wanted to know too despite her blank expression.

"We won't tell Jean we just want to know," Roy said a small smile on his face, and Jean sighed then glared t his superior officer.

"He used to tell me I looked really...sexy when I smoked..." Jean muttered and Roy blinked he'd been hoping for something a little more juicy. Riza on the other hand broke from her mask and started giggling, something Jean had never heard before, but Roy had so he wasn't as surprised.

"That's incredibly sweet Jean," she said when she was done, and Jean blushed harder. Roy narrowed his eyes and smirked.

"That's not all is it Jean?" he smirked wider when his subordinates face was completely red. Jean shook his head furiously.

"No! There's nothing-" and he saw the look his superior was giving him, he gave a small groan, the man was impossible.

"Sometimes...He'd make me share..." Jean mumbled and Roy raised an eyebrow, Riza looked at him for a moment then frowned a little.

"You mean he'd kiss you while you had smoke in your mouth?" she asked and Jean nodded, he looked at her a little terrified recognizing the tone of voice.

"Yeah...he wouldn't listen to me when I told him it was bad but, since when has Ed ever listened?" he mumbled and Roy chuckled.

"I knew there was something more to the smoking thing," he grinned and both Jean and Riza gave him a look.

"What?" he asked and they both heaved sighs at the man.

"He's your boyfriend Riza...you deal with it," he said and they both blushed. He smirked at them and headed for the door Roy's voice made him turn though.

"I'm happy for you Jean...you need someone who loves you after all those other girls," Roy said jokingly but there was a level of sincerity in the words. Jean smiled a little and left, he was happy too. He wasn't sure if he'd be as happy as he was with Ed with any of the girls he'd pursued, and he didn't care to find out. Ed was his and nothing was going to change that.

_Edward's return_

"Jean...really...calm down you're going to ruin the cement," Roy said blandly as the tall blond paced in front of his team mates at the train terminal, Jean shot a glare just as deadly as one of Hawkeye's bullets at his superior officer.

"Hey Sir?" He asked and Roy looked at him in surprise as the blond man stopped in front of him, a forced smile on his face.

"What is it?" Roy asked in confusion.

"Do me a favor and shut up?" Jean replied and the rest of the crew had to stifle their laughter behind their hands, Roy frowned at his friend but couldn't stop from shaking his head and chuckling a little.

"Come on Havoc, the train'll get here when it gets here, stop tying your panties in a knot," Breda chuckled, Jean turned to glare at the red head, and Breda couldn't comprehend Jean's expression.

"Riza...can I borrow your pistol?" Jean asked his hand was palm out towards the other blond Captain. Riza shook her head with a sigh, Breda's eyes widened in fear.

"I was just kidding about the panties comment! Really Havoc!" he threw his hands up in surrender and Jean just glared at the man.

"Jean...let's go get some coffee...Brother's train isn't due for another twenty minutes," Al said and Jean wilted, Al was the only other person besides Ed he couldn't say no to.

"Okay..." he muttered in a defeated way as Al led him away by the hand. Roy watched with a chuckle.

"No one can refuse Alphonse, I think it's a part of his charm," Roy snickered, and Riza turned to look at him with a small smirk.

"Does that include you too, Sir?" she asked and Roy blanched, then he glared at the woman.

"Sometimes Captain..." he mumbled and she gave a small chuckle.

"I know Sir," she said in a pleased tone.

"Are you okay Jean?" Al asked as they walked back to the others from the small coffee stand that was nearby.

"Yeah...I'm fine," he sighed, and Al's eyes narrowed, Jean cringed, the boy was too damn perceptive, then again he hadn't been trying to hide anything this time.

"Jean what's bothering you?" he asked and pulled Jean down on a bench that was within sight of where Ed's train was coming in.

"Nothing..." he muttered and gave a grunt when Al poked him in the ribs, he gave the boy a look who just smiled.

"I...it's stupid...don't worry about it," he mumbled and Al gave him a 'Don't even try that' look and Jean sighed.

"What if he doesn't want me any more?" he almost whispered and looked down at the foam cup in his hand.

"Is that all?" Al asked almost in a scathing way, Jean looked up at him in surprise and Al smiled at him.

"You know what's funny? He asked me the same thing," Al said and then looked down at the cup in his own hands, he spun it around spreading the warmth.

"I think it's odd, that when you're in love, you care so much for how the person you love looks at you, how they see you. You try so hard to be the person they want and then when you know you don't meet those expectations you think they'll no longer love you. But what you don't see is how much more they love you for trying, but they love you even more for being yourself.

"He knows how much you try for him, and I know you know how much he tried for you, you both talk to me, I find it quite flattering, you know, being able to know how much you two love each other. But I also know how much you both fear being rejected by the other, and I know that hurting you is the last thing he ever wanted to do, he knows he really has no excuse but he feels terrible for leaving you the first time and I know that leaving again...was probably the hardest decision he ever had to make. And that really is saying a lot. He loves you Jean and you better take care of him," Al said looking at the man who was looking at the teen almost reverently.

"You know what Alphonse? You're more wise than a nineteen year old should be," he said and Al laughed.

"No, I just know how to listen," he grinned and Jean grinned back then he looked up as he heard it, the train, it wasn't in the station yet but it was close. He stood and Al grabbed his hand.

"One thing, when he steps off of the train don't run to him right away, let him come to you, I have a bet with Breda and I want to win," he grinned cheekily and Jean laughed.

"Al that's cheating," he said and the boy shrugged then led the way back to join the others. Roy looked at Jean almost expecting something but was surprised when the man just looked back questioningly. Roy smiled in return and Jean rolled his eyes. Then he turned as the steam engine pulled into the station with a huff. It took several moments before the doors opened and passengers cam spilling out and Jean was looking at them for any sign of blond. He didn't realize some one had taken his coffee from him but was grateful for it, he didn't have to worry about it. He took a step forward just to know he still could. But then he saw him and he was frozen in place.

Edward Elric was a beautiful creature at the age of twenty, his golden blond hair was long, down to his waist even in its high tail, and it cascaded down his spine shining in the sunlight. He looked emaculate in the blue uniform. He was slim and just as masculine as before his shoulders broad and firm, there was no evidence of the automail they all knew was there. And his face lost all of it's reminders of baby fat, it was slim, his lips thin but lovely when he smiled, he was attractive, enough so that people nearby were giving him looks over. But Jean wasn't looking at any of this he was staring straight into the eyes of his lover. Golden and smoldering, staring straight back.

"Ed..." he breathed he didn't know his arm had reached out towards him, his foot ready to take the first step to run to him, but still he was frozen in place too captivated by Edward's eyes on him. People passed in front of them but their eyes stayed locked until Ed was two feet away just out of arm's reach. Standing there a great coat over one arm and a suitcase in the other, staring at the older blond. Neither of them paid any attention to what was happening around them.

"Hey," Ed said after what felt like forever, his eyes were searching Jean's face, for what, he didn't know, but he hoped that Ed found it.

"Hey," Jean replied after what felt like an even longer forever. They didn't know how long they stood there gazing at each other, but it felt like a life time just like it felt like seconds, but that didn't matter. Jean didn't know who moved first but they met halfway in each others arms their lips connected, their bodies remembering everything about the other they clung to.

Jean's mouth was over Ed's, and they kissed each other with no restraint, Jeans fingers were threaded through the younger man's hair, while Ed's hands were fisted in Jean's uniform. They broke apart moments later only to breath and the unspoken things they wanted to say to each other-_I missed you, I love you, please never be apart from me again_- remained unsaid as they just embraced relishing in each others presence, they'd totally forgotten the others until someone spoke.

"Alright Breda, pay up," Alphonse said, they turned to see the nineteen year old holding his hand out to the red head, a smirk on his face.

"That's not fair! You always win!" Breda said in sheer indignation, and Al just grinned, "You shouldn't be allowed in on the ring any more...I swear you cheat," Breda said as he reluctantly gave Al the bills he'd won.

"I don't cheat I simply know how to play the game better, Lieutenant," Al replied, Ed and Jean watched the whole thing still in each other's ams before Jean gave a huff of laughter and rested his head on Ed's own, which he noticed was higher up, Ed had grown a few inches.

"He's your brother," he said and Ed laughed, happy to rest his head on Jean's shoulder, his arms loosely wrapped around the man's waist.

"Well Fullmetal, it seems you did well, I got a request asking for your permanent transfer there from the Major-General, she must have called you short," Roy said, smirking and Jean noticed he had the cup of coffee in his hand, the man was good.

"More than once," Ed replied with a small scowl Roy laughed and then smiled at the blond.

"Welcome back Fullmetal, you have indeed been sorely missed," he replied and Ed smiled, and he looked up at Jean who was smiling at him. He had been doing quite a bit of missing himself.

Ed and Jean smiled as they walked to the car hand in hand they refused to let go of each other, Al was on Ed's other side also holding his hand but neither of them minded.

"Well now that Jean will no longer be clinically depressed and the shrimp is back, everything will be calming down," Roy said from behind them, both blonds turned.

"You're a bastard," they both said then stopped and laughed at each other and got in the car, Roy sighed and gave the two a look, Riza laughed from beside him

"It's alright Sir, because you are my Bastard," she murmured and he laughed then smiled at her and shook his head.

o0o0o0o

He ran his hand over the beautiful skin, it had grown paler due to his time away from the sun but he was still just as beautiful. His fingers went over every bare inch of skin they could reach. They ran over the taut stomach and chest, the slim hips and slender legs up his arm and neck before he finally cupped his cheek and pulled him closer for a tender kiss. His hands continued to map the body under him, gentle and tender. The other hands one flesh one metal reciprocated the act. The automail had been cold at first but body heat had made it warmer, not like he really cared, he just liked having it there, along with the person it was attached too.

Jean laced his fingers into the metal ones and tilted his head further to catch Ed's lips, softly kissing them brushing against the pink flesh. They only parted to breath but never did they separate, trying to get closer, closer, as close as they could to each other, arms wrapped around torso's legs entwined with legs. Skin with skin nothing separated them not cloth not space not air, and not even their minds, they both only could think of one thing: each other.

They lay in each others arms Jean's fingers lazily brushing back and forth over Ed's upper arm, he was smiling slightly and Ed was watching his face, his own turned up to watch.

"What are you thinking about?" Ed asked quietly, not wanting to ruin the atmosphere by raising his voice.

Jean opened his eyes and smiled down at the twenty year old; he turned and brushed his lips against Ed's forehead, then lowered them to Ed's lips.

"You," he whispered back, and Ed smiled letting his hand run down Jean's chest his fingers tracing small patterns as they went.

"That's cheesy…but I like it anyway," Ed replied closing his eyes and letting his head rest right under Jean's chin, Jean smiled and placed his chin on Ed's blond head. There were several more moments of sweet silence when Jean moved one of his arms and grabbed something from the bedside table. Ed opened an eye in irritation and watched as Jean brought something over to him, it was small and in his hand Ed raised an eyebrow but shrugged to himself and closed his eye again.

"Edward?" Jean whispered after a moment, checking to see if his lover was still awake, he got a grunt in response, he was still up.

"How much 'cheese' can you handle?" he asked and Edward opened his eyes and tilted his head up.

"What do you mean?" Ed asked and his saw something glint in front of his face in Jean's hand, he sat up. He looked down at the blond man who looked an assortment of things, determined and embarrassed but mostly loving for the one who sat in front of him.

"Jean?" Ed asked again and the man smiled, and held up the object in his hand, Ed looked at it and gasped it was a ring a gold band, simple but elegant.

"I didn't know how to ask, I decided to do it a couple months ago, but I wasn't sure how or what to say, all I know is I love you Edward and I want you to be mine," he said and his cheeks were tinted red, but not as red as Edward's.

"You….you're asking me…to marry you?" he whispered in shock, his hands clutched onto the sheets underneath him. He could feel the tears, slowly one made its way down his cheek

"You don't want to? That's okay I understand, it is kind of stupid, I hope you don't think I'm treating you like a woman cause I-" and he was cut off with an 'oof' as Edward threw himself at his lover.

"I will," he bawled and Jean was surprised for a moment before wrapping his arms around the smaller blond. "I will, even though you're a jerk for treating me like a damned woman! I love you," Ed bawled into Jean's chest. The older blond laughed into the long blond hair and held onto him tight.

"I love you too," he whispered into the blond hair below him. Once Ed had stopped from 'blubbering' as he called it, Jean put the ring on his finger, but that brought on more tears. After a while of being held in his fiancés arms, Ed calmed down enough to talk.

"Dammit, I feel so stupid for crying…but I…it made me so happy," Ed said and ran his hand over the chest he was laying on again.

"I'm glad, I was afraid you might get angry, but I wasn't sure," Jean said smiling slightly from the scoff below him.

"After all this time you'd think you'd know me better than that," Ed said teasingly, and Jean laughed.

"I do know you that's why I was afraid you'd get mad at me for treating you like a girl, but you surprised me, that's one of the reasons I love you, you always keep me on my toes but-" he grinned when Ed covered his mouth with a hand.

"You say you keep me on my toes too and I'll hurt you," he growled and Jean laughed against the hand then pulled it away.

"That's impossible, you can't hurt me, I love you too much," he said and kissed the younger blond again.

"I love you too, and I never want to hurt you, never again…I love you and I'll stay with you until I get tired of you," Ed said with a grin, and Jean raised an eyebrow.

"I don't get a say in the matter?" he asked he felt his breath fan against Ed's cheek and Ed's head moved and his lips ghosted against Jean's.

"You never did," Ed whispered and then their lips connected again, Jean's small laugh being cut off by passion that was going to last for a very long time, but he couldn't say for sure.

THE END

Well that's all she wrote! i hope you enjoyed this! it took me about two weeks to actually write which is really fast for me. but yeah i think it turned out really well. xD except for the tittle it's kind of daunting isn't it? i think i should change it...I don't know...oh well whatever! Thanks for reading! Ja ne!


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